FED-UP

Whats on your mind lately.

I worry about my workload at university - I just can’t WAIT for Christmas holidays because I feel mentally and emotionally drained. My parents are actually in America at the minute so I’ve been thinking of them a lot. I can’t wait for them to get back - like I thought it would be fun living up here, but right now I’m on my own and that’s not fun at all!

What's the best thing going for you right now?

OH MY GOSH I never said I was going to see BIGBANG did I?? So that’s probably the most exciting thing happening in my life right now. They are coming to London in December and Emma, Kerri and I are flying over to see them. I’ve never been so excited to something for a while - shame all this work needs to be done before I go though!!

Describe a typical day in your current life:

• Wake up early.
• Quiet Time.
• Do readings for course.
• Eat breakfast.
• Do practical work - Photoshop or InDesign.
• Mess about on Tumblr/Facebook/Twitter frequently.
• Do more work.
• Lunch.
• More Work.
• Tea.
• Clean.
• Dinner.
• Shower.
• Mess about/socialise until I’m too tired.
• Repeat.

DO YOU SEE WHAT MY LIFE HAS BECOME!? Actually can’t stand it anymore! 

What would you like to accomplish this year?

I’ve had a weird old year with it’s ups and downs. I don’t have any goals for the end of this year because it’s already November and near the end of 2012, so it’ll basically get into the routine of university life and work hard. Like, really hard. I’m kinda scared actually - This semester we have two practical modules instead of one, and Hannah and I have to do a group project together. I’m really afraid I’ll get depressed again due to feeling so anxious or else rot away in my room because I’m only on campus two days a week. Sigh! I’ll keep you posted on this one. 

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
24 years old: I shall hopefully be a Bachelor of Arts with a job somewhere - I really don’t know what I want to specialise in yet, I haven’t made up my mind yet.
29 years old: Engaged maybe or married with a house. I was at this gorgeous house a couple of weeks ago and it’s made me realise how much I would love to build and design my own house. I’m being ambitious but sure, why not!

35 years old: I live in optimism that God will bless me with a loving husband and children. I don’t like being too positive here incase his plan is that I live alone (in my giant house lol) with, as Emma said, 100 westies. (Although I don’t plan to own any more westies after Toby - one’s a nightmare to look after, never-mind 100. Poo everywhere.) But if a family is part of his plan, I will be a very happy lady.

I don’t really know how to predict what I want to do because I know there’s no way 3 or 4 years ago would I have known that I would be where I am right now! So shall we wait and see? 

Stay tuned,
Claudia

MUSIC

Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.

Okay so this playlist is for everyone who reads it - and the list explains how some songs put me in certain moods...yeah.
May I point out before you begin reading this was the most difficult list I’ve ever created! And even now that it’s finished I still feel so many more songs could and should be included. Sigh!

Mood: Happy

Shampoo - After School

Still not sure why I like this song so much - perhaps it’s meant to be a sad song, who knows! After 90 listens I’m still liking it and it just makes me happy. The piano introduction is just gorgeous.

Mood: Content

Everything is Alright - Motion City Soundtrack

This song is an old favourite of mine, it’s just so lovely. Tell me that you’re alright, yeah everything is alright. It just reassures me that, yes, everything is okay. 

Mood: Peaceful

Starlight - Muse

Ah Muse! The whole ‘Black Holes and Revelations’ album is a work of art, but Starlight has always been my favourite. It’s just so beautiful, Matt Bellamy’s voice is stunning. I even recall wanting this song played at either my wedding or funeral, now I think of it...I’m glad I never told anyone that.

Mood: Carefree

Hey-Ya - Outcast

Super tune here - When this song comes on there’s nothing you can do except dance. And y’all know I don’t dance, but woah this is such a song. 

Mood: Enthusiastic

모르니 - 2PM

Nothing gets my groove on more than listening to some sexy 2pm before doing some work. There’s something about this track that just does it for me, and helps me start working! Bam!

Mood: Nostalgic

S-Club Party - S Club 7

Out of all the 90s songs, this one by S-Club 7 is still my favourite. I was a massive S-Clubber back in the day and it’s this song that’s my beat. There ain’t no party like an S-Club party!

Mood: Cheerful

Goofy Movie - Stand Out

It was only this year did I FINALLY find another Goofy Movie fan - Bronagh from my class at university also loves this tune and surprisingly is one of my favourite films. This song brings back many memories as a 10 year old girl who’s idol was Max Goof.

Mood: Good

Dancing In The Moonlight - Toploader

This song makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside - another one I remember prominently being played when I was growing up in advertisements and T.V shows.

Mood: Calm

The Saltwater Room - Owl City

Personally this is my favourite Owl City song. Like most of his songs, the lyrics are beautiful and I just feel so calm. “So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?”

Mood: Insecure

Ugly - 2NE1

Boo, even I, have off-days. I feel like crap and I just hate the world. Ugly by my girls 2NE1 make me feel a bit better because this song makes me not as feel as bad. “I think I’m ugly and nobody wants to love me” makes me feel more secure, because, c’mon, that’s a bit harsh ladies. I LOVE 2NE1 and think they are pretty. They make me feel better.

Mood: Sad

In Heaven - JYJ

I listened to this song on repeat after Jordan’s death back in September. Such a powerful song from the beautiful voices of Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu. It actually has made me burst into tears before because it’s so powerful. It’s weird what music can do. (Even if you don’t know what they are saying)

Mood: Romantic

Here (In Your Arms) - Hellogoodbye

This song reminds me back in the day when life was so much simple. It helped me believe in love - like silly love, teenager love. Love that isn’t genuine, but love gives you that funny feeling inside. Like when you have a crush on someone and it gives you flutters when you see them. I feel like a young teenager listening to this!

Mood: Upset

Haru Haru - BIGBANG

Oh boy oh boy this song actually breaks my heart. Definitely one of BIGBANG’s greatest. I cried after watching the music video - like, properly bawled. It makes me so sad because of the meaning behind it - it’s about saying goodbyes, even if you don’t want to. It’s just flawless.

Mood: Aggravated/Irratated

Taste of Ink - The Used

Nothing stirs me up more like listening to a little bit of The Used - another favourite group I had back in my younger days. This song is a classic.

Mood: Weak

Roses - The Rocket Summer

Naomi kindly introduced me to the Rocket Summer a couple of years ago, and it was only quite recently did I learn they were a Christian rock group. Roses is a powerful song which is such an encouragement when I feel like giving up. It provides me the kick I need to just keep holding on, even though it can be difficult. “Keep holding on, all I got is holding onto these roses, the thorns will keep on digging, but my soul believes.” Amazing!

Mood: Sleepy

Baby Goodnight - GD & TOP

I sometimes listen to this when I’m getting ready to go to bed. It’s very relaxing when I'm ready to sleep.

Mood: Depressed

Take Me Away - U-KISS

Sometimes it all just feels to be too much to deal with and I just want to run away. U-KISS’ voices are so divine in this track it gives me goosebumps. 

Mood: Tired

Did You or Did You Not? - Block B

Sometimes I’m just sick of listening to people complain about their crap and I just want to be left alone. “This is why I’m serious, baby I’m so tired.”

Mood: Angry

Wolf In Sheep Clothing - This Providence

Man I love this track so much, an old favourite. 

Mood: Melancholy

It’s Not Over - Secondhand Serenade

Although this song doesn’t have any direct impact on my own relationships with person/people, I think it’s a breathtaking song and makes me feel all emotional. He has a beautiful voice and the lyrics are amazing. 

SOMETHING...

SOOPER MEME MEME MEME MEME

Something you hate about yourself:
What a pessimistic question! I don’t think there’s anything I absolutely hate, just a few flaws in my personality and lifestyle I think I would like to change. One of them would be that I waste my time on silly things then neglect the things which are more important. Appearance wise, I always look really cross, so people think I’m aggressive - it’s just my normal expression though, sigh!

Something you love about yourself:
My wide variety of loud and embarrassing laughs.

Something you regret:
I regret not spending more time with my Granny before she died. I know that’s silly thinking like that because we visited her quite regularly. But I wish when I was there - I listened to what she said, I took interest in the conversation - instead of just sitting texting on my phone. Just thinking of it tears me up. How could I have been so stupid!

Something you have to forgive yourself for:
I have to forgive myself for being such a big horrible mess of a human being a few years ago. I’m trying to make up for it now by being nicer.

Something you have to forgive someone for:
Certain individuals who I felt bullied me in my younger years. Also a couple of people who made fun of my weight. There are some things which are harder to forgive than others.

Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life:
I wish I remembered who was important when I had them in my life. I wish I didn’t bicker with Jordan as much when she was alive. I wish I didn’t beat myself up due to my lack of self-confidence. I wish that I hadn’t told so many lies to my parents. I wish I wasn’t so angry at people for so many unnecessary reasons.

Something you wish you had done in your life:
I wish that I hadn’t wasted my life obsessing over things and used that time and energy to serve God. Why am I so capable of telling others to listen to K-Pop, but massively fail at telling others about the Good News of Jesus?? CLAUDIA YOU MESS.

Something you hope to do in your life:
Oh the usual female ambitions - get married, get a house, have kids, job etc.

Something you hope you never have to do:
Watch someone I love die - that would be a frightening and unpleasant experience.

Something you hope to change about yourself:
Wow these questions are deep! I hope to become 100% reliant on God. I always say I will, but when things are going well, I tend to forget about him. Then when things go wrong, I always expect him to fix my problems.

Someone who has made your life worth living for:
I remember Jordan saying in a post a long time ago: *cheesy Christian answer* My answer here is Jesus. He died for my sins so I definitely owe him one. Living for Jesus is the best decision I’ve ever made.

Something people seem to compliment you the most on:
My blue glasses, haha. Or my hair possibly?

Something you never get compliments on:
Er my eyes? I like my eyes anyway. Maybe no-one can see them because they are distracted by the glasses.

- Claudia

BLUE

I was about to introduce this blog post stating how I haven’t blogged for a while etc. but decided that is not the way to go, since 1. it’s very boring and 2. it was only a fortnight ago.

I haven’t had any time to chill so have spent my evenings doing that instead of blogging. (That means pigging out in front of the laptop stuffing my face and staring at my Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr feeds all night)

The interesting thing now is because I’m at university, it is a lot more likely that one or more of these are someone a lot of you don’t know. Which means you can't guess them unless you live inside my head. Not trying to twist your minds or anything, it is fact.
I don’t compose these to bring attention to myself or my blog, I like having somewhere I can document and express my thoughts freely. Kaboom!

- Explosion of ponderings -

One.

I miss being close to you, I feel like we are drifting apart and I’m trying desperately to repair what we have lost but I genuinely don’t know what to say anymore. I feel like I’ve been cruelly left out - not intentionally though - and I miss the craic. I miss you more than anyone, because you are so lovely and genuine and you were my first friend. Can we please try and fix this because I’m at a loss of what to do. 

Two.

You are messing with my head, like seriously. Why must I fall so easily, especially of all people, why must it be you! I swore to myself I wouldn’t let this happen again, except this time it’s much worse because it is you and I can’t, and won’t, even tell anybody. I hope these feelings will go away because it’s all too confusing and I’m being silly and will therefore shut up.

Three.

I’m very glad you are back in my life. I know I am losing hope others and feel I am welcomed back with you. It’s comfortable and I feel so at ease talking to you. Just like old times. I really appreciate your company and hope we can become really great friends again. 

Four.

This is far too difficult, I want to help you but it is just too much effort. I physically can’t help you if you can’t help yourself. I have others and don’t need you either. Just don’t hurt yourself. Sorry.

Five.

I can’t kid myself, and I certainly can’t kid Emma. YOU ARE STILL MY KING OPPA.

(Honestly I think oppa is one of my favourite words ever. C:) Oppas make Claudbag happy, I need many oppas. I collect them and keep them safe. Hehehehehe.

I’ve been feeling very negative and sad lately, please someone cheer me up. I guess I’m feeling BLUE.

My boys are back. I love BIGBANG. ♥

MEME BLAH

i think: Mainly my thoughts consist of things to do, k-pop and blogging ideas. And if not that it would be repetitive song lyrics in my head.

i know: I need to work extremely hard for my course this year. So much to do but I’M VERY EXCITED! :D

i want: clothes, shoes and perhaps a new handbag. Oh, and a pair of Dr Dre Solo HDs - top of my Christmas list right now. And money. And everything.

i have: 16 autographs now! When I receive more I hope to make a fabulous blog post about it. Mum also told me there are three at home that I still need to open. I’m excited.

i wish: I had whiter teeth and a better figure.

i hate: rude people and poor manners.

i miss: Jordan, but that’s understandable. I’d rather not blog about this for a while to be honest.

i fear: landing in some serious debt in the future.

i feel: awesome most of the time. Unless I’m being quiet, that’s when you should not attempt to speak to me.

i hear: music blaring from my iTunes. Did you know only 31% of my iTunes library is k-pop? Yes, it surprised me too.

i smell: of “Sex and the City: KISS” which I claimed for free on my O2 surprises.

i crave: biscuits and cereal. I swear I’ve never ate so much junk in my life since I’ve arrived here. :( Cry.

i search: korean guys on google images.

i wonder: why I wasn’t able to tell Key and Onew from SHINee apart when I was learning their names??

i regret: not speaking to that cute guy I saw in uni when he smiled at me. Alas, I ran away because I am shy.

i love: random things, like high resolution photographs and videos, getting post and unusual jewelry. 

i care: for Jared. Hurt him and I’ll knock your brain out. 

i always: colour-coordinate my jewelry to match my outfits.

i am not: as intimidating as people seem to think? I am a dead on person, really. Maybe just a bit mad. Don’t judge on first impressions!

i believe: in God. Although I don’t appear to talk about my faith in my posts, I firmly believe in God.

i dance: no I don’t.

i sing: along to k-pop songs. When you listen to it often enough you can sing along. They have lots of English lines too which makes it easier.

i cry: at films. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 I cried the whole way through - my childhood ended then. 

i don’t always: listen to people. I would listen for a while then my mind wanders. 

i fight: with Jared. But Jared punches like Bruce Lee and leaves me rolling on the floor in pain. (I am surprisingly weak though.)

i write: blog posts once a week.

i win: at racing games. Irony because I hate driving in real life.

i lose: nothing. But when I do I get veryyyy annoyed. When packing for uni, I lost my bullet earrings... the one’s I ordered online which T.O.P also has. I was wearing them the day before and they were dropped into somewhere safe the day before. I just don’t remember where. :(

i never: tell lies. I’m very bad at it and someone always catches me out or I burst out laughing.

i confuse: myself easily over simple situations or information. I tend to hear something and look at it at a completely different perspective. Emma, James and my mother understand what I mean. “...Beauticians?”

i listen: TO MISTER SIMPUL. Oh it’s just ended. 

i can usually be found: in my room online or eating and watching T.V. Or boiling the kettle. Or on the trampoline.

i am scared: of daddy long legs - the giant, dancing, flying spider.

i need: a nice cup of tea and another episode of Doctor Who.

i am happy about: that Big Bang is first in voting for the MTV EMA Worldwide Act Asia Pacific award! Hooray!!

Woooo...Yes I shall return to the other meme post...eventually.

LIGHTS GO ON AGAIN

I feel super guilty that I haven’t been properly active in Blogger in ages. Usually I would have one or two posts just waiting but unfortunately I haven’t written anything in ages.

This is because:

1. I’m too lazy.
2. I’m too busy.
3. I’m too tired.
4. I’ve ran out of ideas.

This makes me sad because I want to blog. It is frustrating!

Anywho, here is the list that I prepared before my exams had ended. Shall we see how it is getting on?

Completed:

• Finish my exams: Yes I have completed this, not successfully, but it is done.
• Get a job and earn some money: Laugh if you will, but I am currently employed in my Dad’s electrical business. I’ve been out working with him. Yes, manual work. No, I’m not joking. Money is money, serious stuff.
• Clean out my room: I recently got my whole room varnished (it’s entirely built of wood) so it was calling for a makeover. I shall blog about this soon! It just hasn’t been tidy enough to even consider taking pictures of it.
• Send a MAMMOTH amount of fan-mail to different celebrities and test how many will return: YES! I sent away 9 letters last week. Those included were Helen Mirren, Michael McIntyre, Kenneth Branagh, Judi Dench, Colin Firth, Daniel Craig, Jamie Oliver, Keira Knightly and Sienna Millar. Will I get any back...who knows! Fingers crossed.
• Get my ears pierced: I got them pierced a fortnight ago, which means this is ticked off my Bucket List too. You may wonder why I did, after waiting for 18 years. Mainly because I felt I was missing out. It was annoying shopping and seeing an awesome pairs of earrings and not being able to purchase them, so why not just fix the problem and stop being so awkward about it?

Not Completed Yet:

• Learn how to use Adobe Photoshop, Dreamweaver, Flash, Audacity and Premiere to prepare for my Interactive Media Arts course in Colraine: I actually had forgotten I had planned to do this...I still have two months off.
• Learn how to use my graphics tablet: Again, two months off. I’ll get round to it.
• Attempt to practice some photography: Why on earth did I write this one??
• Prepare stuff for university: In due time my friend.
• Order more Snapfish photos: I had planned to do this tonight, but I’m blogging instead.
• Paint some big-ass pictures with acrylic paint: I need to practice little paintings first. I’ve done a total of two but hope to produce more in the next few weeks.
• Have a container sleepover party: This is in preparation. I am currently cleaning and redecorating the container (I shall blog about this too) we just need a night that suits everyone!
• Organise a meet-up/dinner with ‘our lot’ from school: Forgot about this one too, but I think John or Kerri is planning something instead.

Getting there...

• Start driving again: Yah, if someone else asks me about driving I’ll slap their head in. It’s annoying enough that they have changed the test at the end of June. Just making it more difficult for me. I have been out numerous times but it’s surprisingly hard to make times for things you don’t like doing.
• Exercise loads and obtain my goal weight: I’ve been at Slimming World for about 12 weeks now and to be honest, I’m getting nowhere. I lost 1 1/2lbs last week but I could do so much better. It’s hard when I’m out and about to keep following the plan.
• Get a £1 coin money box, collect £1, £2 and notes and not to touch it. Behold! Hundreds of pounds gathered very quickly! : This is going well! I still haven’t touched the money box. It’s very tempting to though. It’s a good way to save so I recommend it.
• Have some more container parties before my friends desert me forever: Friends have been here numerous times already but when the container is finally decorated it will definitely be PARTY TIME.
• Redecorate the container: It is time for the container to get a makeover. It’s a sin I don’t look after it as well as I could. It’s currently getting walls done with new posters and pictures so fingers crossed it will turn out nice.
• Photo blog on Chictopia regularly: For those who don’t know, Chictopia is a community where the users post photographs of themselves, for fashion purposes, and the others post their opinions. Most of the users are absolutely gorgeous, and their photos are very professional, but James, Kerri and I do it for the craic and ours is pitiful. You can find our profile pages here, here and here.

No.

• Go to France and see SM Town on the 10th June: Clearly this did not happen because I did not get tickets (those tickets were as hard to obtain as the 2012 London Olympic tickets) and I would have otherwise blogged about it continously forever.
• Go to London on 19th June and stalk SHINee: Again, this didn’t happen because I’m broke and to be frank, just don’t care enough. Although it was extremely painful watching fancam footage of the five gloriously walking through Heathrow airport.
• Get back to the gym! : Blah! Super angry at this one, I CAN’T go back to the gym because my membership has been cancelled. Since I’m going to university in September Mum thought it would be more sensible to save the money spent there to put towards uni funds.

I have also added a few extra ones:

• Watch a new drama.
• Upload new art pieces onto Deviant Art.
• Meet up with various people over the summer.

And so it may continue...

Until next time,

- Claudia

VENTURE

Hello,

I’m feeling terribly tired and grouchy but I’m forcing myself to do the routinely things I do every evening. (Check Twitter, Ningin, Blogger, Tumblr, Facebook)

We collected our Venture photography session photo frames this morning in Lisburn.

Because we spent over certain amount of money, we were given a number of photographs from the session free on a memory stick.I suppose we have bought rights of owning these photos. I can use them anyway I want.

Blogger is better than Facebook, so here they are! Jordan told me to upload them because I actually wasn’t going to bother.

Below are some of the photos that were uploaded onto the stick.

- Claudia

DON'T STOP THE RAIN!

Updates with pictures:

TokyoFashion.com

Most of my evenings have been spent on a website called Tokyo Fashion. This site updates regularly with photographs of the most original and bizarre fashion clothing shown in different areas of Japan. I’m fascinated with the street photos of Harajuku especially. I would spend hours analysing these outfits. It’s incredible that some people are able to devote themselves to customising themselves in such a way. Few are gorgeous, some are pretty rotten. It is inspiring though.

Papa Rain

Oh RAIN. The other night I downloaded (legally of course) all of his CDs: Rain’s World, Rainism, Back to the Basic...etc. Oh I do adore!! What a perfect man! His music is so gorgeous, especially Move On, Love Song and With U. I am truly in love!

Just remembered, so was Megan Fox. LOL. We have so much in common.

Why does he bother wearing clothes...I mean shirts.

Free Time
I still cannot get my head around all the free time I now have since my exams finished last Monday. It hasn’t properly kicked in that I actually will have nothing to do for four months and that I have finished high school education forever. It’s strange, I have so much on my To-Do list but it hasn’t been started yet. I thought I’d dive straight into it, I’m afraid I will become lazy and not do anything at all. On another note, I booked my accommodation for next year, and according to my loan, I will only be living on £2.50 a week. Dreadful!! I suppose I should be getting a job?

Weight

I’ve set myself an ultimate goal of losing 1 stone, 7lbs. I also worked out to obtain this goal by September I need to lose 1.5lbs in Slimming World per week. That’s not going to happen, but I shall try and shall report on my progress. (Because, you know, it’s such an interesting thing to blog about.)

Tumblr

Shhh, I know I’m not allowed to mention Tumblr, but I’m going to anyway. I do have a Tumblr page, linked here. It’s been incredibly addictive ever since I’ve finished studying. Please follow me if you use it too, and I will certainly follow you all back.

Park Bom: (yes I love celebrities)

Oh beautiful lady! Yes, I do believe my female K-Pop bias at the moment is Park Bom from 2NE1. Move over CL, you will have to share your place with this gorgeous girl! Seriously, don’t understand why I didn’t like Bom before: honestly I thought she was very boring compared to the other three. HOWEVER ever since I’ve seen her new music video ‘Don’t Cry’ I’ve fallen for her.

Y’know a while ago I posted about that romantic ‘sweet sharing’ scene in IRIS which I got mixed responses from? I had a similar emotional breakdown when I watched this M.V!! I don’t know what did it, perhaps the cool guy in it, I don’t know... (unable to explain what on earth I am talking about) Anyway, I think the point is, he dies..even though they were engaged..and their hug *cries* I love them. Shut up Claudia, go to bed.

What am I saying? I never need to sleep again.

Or remove nail polish for school on Monday mornings. Woohoo!

TONIGHT

Things that have been floating round my brain recently and feel the need to talk about, and just write down really.

Penpals

Not sure if I have talked about this, but I have taken up the hobby of snail-mail. I have 3 penpals from South Korea. (Three is my limit, it’s too expensive otherwise!) and it’s just something to take my mind off everything, as well as get some nice post addressed to me. I have got one letter so far and have sent the reply as well as another on Monday. I hope it has arrived by now! I tried to make the letter as pretty as possible. Minjung said she liked TVXQ on her first letter so I decorated the envelope with photographs of them. :)

Viscom

It’s been three weeks since my interview and physiologically it’s tearing me apart waiting for a reply. I’ve been waiting at the postbox every day after school as well as my heart skipping a beat every time an email comes through on my phone, expecting to be UCAS track. It doesn’t seem fair that all my friends have replies from where they want to go except for me! Everything is so uncertain, I just NEED a reply: wether acceptation or rejection, just to give me some kind of purpose to work.

Studying

I feel a bit sick thinking of what’s on in the next few months. I was filling in my calendar the other day and time is so short. There are many events on from March to May. I’m SO gonna fail English, I attempted studying it last week and nearly broke down. I like having something to work for, but I feel there is NO reason to work at the moment!

Future

Although I’ve only caught parts of this topic conversations my friends have had lately, it’s left me thinking of such questions as Am I going to get married? Children? Job? Where will I live? Blah Blah, etc. To be honest I’ve been very cynical lately and disagree with everyone else’s opinion or ideas. I secretly snigger at them, gosh I’m so mean!

I’ve only had 2 and a half days at school this week and it’s left me amazed at what people’s ideas are for their future. At the minute I feel I will be a workaholic in times ahead, working in a busy city, being a boss of a section of a big company.

Yearbook

This year I stepped up to design our 2011 U6 Yearbook. Good idea in theory, yes. But I thought everyone would be keen to help out. They are not.

I’m not sure if I’m power hungry and I’m turning into some kind of yearbook dictator, but our year are atrocious at sending photos. That means I’m looking up ALL the photographs up using Facebook, as well as designing each page separately. And only two people have returned their bio thing. It’s very time consuming and frustrating.

Desire

Don’t know if I’m going through a phase, or am just aware now because of Jordan’s observations, but do I talk and think about men far too much? Is my brain corrupted by unhealthy thoughts?! Subtle! LOL

Big Bang

Big Bang’s new album is out, and it actually made it into the Billboard charts today. It’s so good. I’m getting back into the habit of listening to music again.

Wanting the world

Why is it when you have no money you see everything you like? Especially unnecessary crap online. I would prefer to not say what this all is, because you would look and shake your heads at me in pity.

A lot of that was quite negative and depressing. I think I am tired! Goodnight everybody!

I WANT A SNACK TOO

I am completely exhausted.

The party is over.

The birthday is over.

The interview is over.

The three things I’ve been planning and thinking through for months are actually now in the past. It’s such a weird feeling. Don’t know if I like it or not...

I will blog about all these subjects in my next few blog posts. I haven’t had time to properly post anything in a long time (3 days feels like a long time..and not a single person that I follow have posted anything either- what’s going on with you all?!)

I do have an exam tomorrow but it’s not even going to be attempted because it does not matter!

Birthday Party.

18th Birthday.

Presents.

Interview.

My new hat!

Formal dresses/Yearbook.

Broken things.

Liverpool.

How things are basically back to normal.

I'm actually too tired to write a decent post, sorry guys! I shall return when I feel less like deth.

I'm away to get a snack.

- Claudia

PAINT PAINT

Quick post.

Heya, I’ve been busy lately, and ironically to my last post, Blogging hasn’t even crossed my mind.

I’ve got an AS English resit a week and a day away, and I haven’t even started revision on it. I’m so engrossed in art, which isn’t a bad thing, but because it’s taking away from precious revision time it’s more of a burden lately.

Thankfully we are off on Study Leave until Thursday, so I hope I’ll get some crammed in this week. Also on Thursday is the Belfast UU Art Open Day, so our art class is going to it. Should be good craic as well as interesting and useful, because art is good fun recently. The other day Gareth sketched me, due to the challenge request of Mary-Jane to draw me in 15 mins. It turned out really well. It scared me though when he was sketching because he kept looking directly at me and made me feel uncomfortable. I meant to have the photo up here (much to his dismay) but I think it’s in the house. I’m in the container taking a break from painting.

I actually think I’ve got better at painting. In the past 24 hours I’ve done 2 A3 paintings: one of Jaejoong and one of Jared. I’m painting one of Jared at the moment. It’s my new craze, I’ll just keep going until I simply can’t do anymore then pick the best for the portfolio. Yeah, no wonder English isn’t done. Boo. Give me ideas of who to paint next.

I’ll leave the best news to last. I’m having an 18th Birthday party! Like a proper one, with many friends and relatives. Mum granted permission for it today, thankfully I had a guest written already. ;) But she was being silly and saying how I don’t talk to a lot of these people- how does SHE know who I talk to during school?

So I’m very excited about this now: the party, interview and the *BIG* surprise which I still don’t know about yet is all ahead of me. And that’s just February.

I’ve decided what I want for my Birthday. A bum chair!!

Cheeky. And disturbing, eh?

I can't stop watching it.

Love u all.

SHAKESPEARE

A much needed blog post!

I have been so so SO busy recently. I don’t think I’ve been so occupied with life ever. So busy I haven’t had time to get a haircut, book a driving lesson or even pluck my eyebrows. It’s been non-stop the last three weeks or so.

It doesn’t stop there: I discovered I have something major on every week until the middle of November. It’s crazy. Having Lady Gaga and the Art Dublin overnight on the same week is NOT good.

So what have I been up to? I signed myself up to the Sound Crew for the Shakespeare performance of ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream” the school is taking part in the Waterfront, as part of Shakespeare Schools Festival. I absolutely love it. I have made friends with people who I would have never talked to before and the rehearsals are great craic. However they are after school and on Saturdays so that’s taken up so so much time. Not that I mind, it’s just mad that I’ve been able to cope.

I also put myself forward as Media Rep for the show: basically advertising the production. I spent two weeks making a Show Programme on Pages on Henry mac, and people were saying how professional it looked. It’s nice being complimented for something you enjoy doing. I also created some posters (more will be printed eventually, I’m just so tired tonight I’m taking a night off) and a 3D art piece with information hanging from it, which only took one day to make!

Our first show was today last two periods to the Junior School. It went really well, the audience laughed a good bit, which kept on surprising me because I kept forgetting they were watching! We have another show for the Seniors tomorrow, then one at 7pm for Parents and Friends. Then Wednesday is the Waterfront performance! Oh I’m rather excited!

I also have G.B on Mondays and Sunday School with P.1s on Sundays, ah! Never realised how much fun helping out with church stuff could be!

I think I’ve become so focused on Shakespeare I just neglected everything else, now I have a humungous pile of school work, ironing and Iris/Betty/xfactor catch up on Sky+.

Things that will be going on:

• More performances
• The Waterfront!
• S.U Weekend
• Richard II in some theatre next Tuesday
• Halloween Holidays
• Lady Gaga
• Dublin Weekend
• Prefect Disco
• G.B Christmas Shopping

AHHH AND CHRISTMAS SHOPPING AND RESITS AND THE GYM AND DIETING AND--

I NEED ££££! :(

POUR ME A HEAVY DOSE OF ATMOSPHERE.

Ew, I’m wondering if my week can get more craptacular than this.
I haven’t updated in a while because one I’ve been busy and two everything else seems to have gone terribly wrong, stupid, ridiculous or awkward.

So I’ve been back at school since the first, then I was off again for a day. A few of us on that Thursday went to the Ulster Museum in Belfast which was enjoyable, we then went into town and saw Chrrisssttopphhherr!! (Not in McD's, but in Victoria Square! In his baseball cap and hightops, what a poser!) Back again on that Friday then it was the weekend. Good weekend indeed. :) Well Sunday sucked, but that's another story.

Then all last week I was exceedingly busy. I missed two full days of school due to attending Queens and Uni of Ulster Jordanstown Open days. Even though there were some mixed reviews, I really liked Jordanstown: they do the courses I am interested in and I just liked the closed in campus. It’s like a massive High School, with some shops and a s.u too. I think that would suit me rather well, but I would have liked it better if it was closer to Belfast city center. Queens was extraordinary, the building is beautiful, but I felt rather dumb as I walked round it because there’s no way I’d be going there, I just wanted to go for the day out. I attended a law lecture with Kerri. When I came out I felt as if I’d become a law student myself! Smarty.

The past few days have probably been the worst of this year. On Saturday night, I had a couple of friends down to watch Remember Me. (Spoiler: We got so freaked out when R’Patz was killed in the twin towers because it was the 9th anniversary that day! We were all in tears by the end of it...cry) So after they left I went inside I took my lenses out. I woke in the middle of the night with my right eye all sore and bloodshot. It was gross, but I thought it would be away in the morning.

Next day I couldn’t go to church because it was so bad. Bright lights, well any lights at all produced sharp pains. I honestly thought I was going to go blind. :0

Two doctors appointments and a Royal Hospital visit later, it is concluded that I have an ulcer behind said eye. Ewwww. I didn’t even know it was POSSIBLE to have ulcers there.

So now much to my dismay, I have to wear glasses for two weeks. And cut down how often I wear lenses. It’s my own fault really: I deserve to wear an eyepatch or something horrid because of the lense-abuse I gave my eyes.

I think everything is going wrong. Like the ulcer is affecting the way my brain is working or something. I keep doing silly things, things that make me go WTF CLAUDIA ARE YOU DOING YOU CRAZY FOOL... *falls asleep.*

Stupid post. Probably a lot more I could include here but I can’t be bothered tonight.

You should see my ironing pile.

- Claudia

Just googled eye ulcer: boke!!!! :(

6. YOUR DREAMS

Okay, I’m slightly confused about this one: do I write about my dreams that I have as I sleep, my future dreams or about daydream dreams? I think I’ll write about all three for the challenge.

Daytime Dreams

Dear Daydreaming Claudia’s brain,

You are the best type of dreaming I think. I can think freely without worry and also have the option to think what I want. As long as I don’t get caught doing so when I shouldn’t be, that’s happened before and it was bad. :[

You are the source of my creative talent. You fuel my ideas to create art, new blogging ideas and Youtube movies. I am glad you are as wacky as myself, or I wouldn’t be a very exciting person.

It’s also a great way of wasting time, especially when I have nothing better to do.

Ummm yeah, what else is there to say? Thank you that I’m a good daydreamer, brain.

From Claudia

Night-time Dreams

Dear Sleeping Claudia’s brain,

Now the words I have to say to you are not as nice as before. Firstly, I think it’s a crime that I don’t dream every night. Can you tell me someway that will allow that? It’s very disappointing waking up and realising that I slept empty-headed. Not that I’m complaining that I have a peaceful night sleep, it’s just dull.

On the other hand, you do have your moments. Sometimes if I’m lucky I dream every night for a full week. This makes me very happy, especially when the dreams are good.

But another thing to complain about it is the content of my dreams. Kerri tells me she dreams about Super Junior at least every other night- I’ve only had three Asian related dreams in my life! One where I hugged Eunhyuk (acceptable) but nearly broke his bones! And another featured Seung-ri from Big Bang - Seung-Ri, seriously!? What about T.O.P?? Or if I’m being too fussy, Taeyang or G-Dragon will do, I suppose. The third was when I was meeting Siwon in the Port-O-Call for lunch, that’s lame. Please sort that out.

The third thing is the whole reoccurring people thing. People who know me might know what I mean here. There’s a small group of people that appear in my dreams all the time. I would like more of an mixture of people who star in my dreams, and none that scar me for life either. You know what I mean.

I hope I made that clear enough.

From Claudia

Future Dreams

Dear worried Claudia’s brain who thinks about the future too much,

Okay, I have been through this before in my blog. I worry. A lot. Especially about what way my life will end up.

The questions go through my head constantly: Where will I go to university at? Where will I live? What kind of house will I have? Will I ever get married? Who will I marry? Is he Asian? What age will I be? Will I always be this weight? Will I have children? How many? What will I name them? Will I have twins? All boys? Girls? Will I understand all this mortgage, insurance crap? Will I be poor? Will I ever get my driving test? Will I always be close to Jared? Will I be close to Mum and Dad? Will I run the business? Will I get a job or become a housewife? How long will I live? Will I become a grandmother? When will I die? Will I get to do everything I want to do? etc etc

Okay, brain. Stop worrying. I won’t allow it anymore. My emotions are messed up enough from just being a teenager so get lost and allow life to take it’s course.

From Claudia