HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I am now 19, this gives me 365 days of being a teenager left.

I must make this worthwhile. Let’s list all the things that needs to be done.

1. Meet loads of new people.
2. Be nicer to my family.
3. Live for God.
4. Pass my exams.
5. Always try my best.
6. Reconnect with friends whom I have lost contact with.
7. Start sketching again.
8. Have faith in myself.
9. Have confidence in everything I do.
10. Stand up for what I believe in. 
11. Remain close with my friendship group from school.
12. Have a bit of romance in my life.
13. Eat more fruit.
14. Wear my retainer to bed.
15. Go on holiday.
16. Learn to cook.
17. Write letters.
18. Save money and spend it on something great.
19. Obtain my dream weight.
20. Become more inventive.
21. Buy a new pair of glasses.
22. Plan something awesome.
23. Learn how to use my graphics tablet.
24. Walk the dog more often.
25. Do something dramatic to my appearance.
26. Compliment others.
27. Get a job.
28. Take more photographs.
29. Continue to do my photo-of-the-day until 31st December 2012.
30. Spend more time with Jared.
31. Learn to drive.
32. Don’t stress.
33. Read more books!
34. Don’t worry.
35. Make more eye contact with others.
36. Redecorate the container.
37. Do something which would usually scare me.
38. Stop caring what others think of me or my interests.
39. Take vitamin tablet daily.
40. Go to a party.
41. Stop snacking, especially in the evening.
42. Travel alone.
43. Practice my signature because it's a mess.
44. Turn off the internet and dive into other hobbies.
45. Look after a plant.
46. Build up my physical strength.
47. Give money to the poor.
48. Get out of my comfort zone.
49. Make a movie.
50. Take make-up off before bed.
51. Go on holiday with friends before we all go our separate ways.
52. Spend less time online.
53. Recognize and praise the accomplishments of others.
54. Explore and widen my music taste.
55. Start baking more often.
56. Apologise for any wrong-doings.
57. Create a list of my favourite films.
58. Make more phone calls.
59. Work on being more flirty.
60. Pray consistently and earnestly.
61. Control my temper.
62. Drink less tea.
63. Stop being a horrible person.
64. Join an extracurricular activity.
65. Enjoy every day as much as possible.
66. Go to the beach.
67. Schedule some me-time.
68. Express how I really am to people I don’t know well.
69. Read my Bible regularly.
70. Smile at random people.
71. Stop, break and breathe.
72. Eat food from around the world.
73. Help out round the house.
74. Use the stairs instead of an escalator/lift.
75. Get experience a paid or voluntary job relating to my career.
76. Become less reliant on my mobile phone.
77. Stop being shy...
78. ...and even worse, snobby.
79. Tell someone I love them.
80. Practice willpower.
81. Sort out my skincare regime.
82. Look at the stars.
83. Keep secrets.
84. Turn down my music volume or I will go deaf.
85. Improve my posture.
86. Be more friendly and approachable.
87. Look after myself.
88. Spend more time with my Grandparents.
89. Continue to look for bargains, like a boss.
90. Bake a cake.
91. Watch different T.V shows.
92. Look after my hair.
93. Enjoy a bath.
94. Stop Facebook stalking.
95. Mend any broken relationships.
96. Keep my wardrobe organised.
97. Drink loadddsss of water.
98. Work on things early and get them done and out of the way.
99. Do what I love and what I want to do.
100. Live life to the fullest.

OH NO!

☹

OH NO!

My fantastic Glee outing plan is completely flawed! Emma can’t go. Kerri won’t go. No-one else is going. I haven’t heard anything from James or the rest. (Where is everybody today?!) I spent all night last night getting excited/worried about it and then couldn’t sleep: I was worried in case I didn’t get tickets. Didn’t get over to sleep to around 3am. :(

Anyway I’m super annoyed because mother said I was allowed, now that nobody else is going I can’t Pfft, does she know I’m going to be 18 by then? Aragh I don’t want to be pampered and mollycoddled, I wanna see this show!! Even if that means going on my own!

Don’t get me started on how I haven’t seen Harry Potter yet either. ☠

☺

I can’t feel happy about anything right now because I’m just so pissed off. I’ll attempt at some good news anyway. Do you remember in my Ladyboys! entry I spoke of a smell on stage that I just couldn’t resist? Well I do believe I have found it in a perfume: Vera Wang Princess!

It’s the closest smell to it as possible, all in a little perfume. See, we were out shopping that day and Jared and I went into House of Fraser so I could look around. I tested some perfumes including this one so perhaps the smell reminded me of that whole day, now I adore it. If it’s not too late, I think I’ll ask it for Christmas.

Before bed last night I watched episode 14 of IRIS. Gosh, it’s amazing. And the episode felt really long, in a good way. So that set me hyper and I couldn’t sleep. And T.O.P made an appearance too, but I can’t give anything away because Emma will go crazy if I reveal spoilers to her. Can you read this Emma? Oh YEAH, he kisses Hacker Girl- such a lucky girl!!

More good news: they are making an IRIS film! And Prefect Disco sorted too- I'm going as Boo from Monsters Inc.

UCAs statement is hopefully being sent away by the end of the week. I’ll keep you posted.

Does Claudia’s UCAs get sent away??

Will Claudia get to see Glee Live, her man of her dreams, Harry Shum Jr??

Is Vera Wang Perfume expensive??

Will she get to see Harry Potter before it’s too late??

Does she reveal any more spoilers to Emma??

And will T.O.P get to meet the girl of his dreams: Claudia?? (I hope so, heh!)

That’s all folks!

Tune in next time, for another post from CLAUDIA’S BLOG! *theme music*

6. YOUR DREAMS

Okay, I’m slightly confused about this one: do I write about my dreams that I have as I sleep, my future dreams or about daydream dreams? I think I’ll write about all three for the challenge.

Daytime Dreams

Dear Daydreaming Claudia’s brain,

You are the best type of dreaming I think. I can think freely without worry and also have the option to think what I want. As long as I don’t get caught doing so when I shouldn’t be, that’s happened before and it was bad. :[

You are the source of my creative talent. You fuel my ideas to create art, new blogging ideas and Youtube movies. I am glad you are as wacky as myself, or I wouldn’t be a very exciting person.

It’s also a great way of wasting time, especially when I have nothing better to do.

Ummm yeah, what else is there to say? Thank you that I’m a good daydreamer, brain.

From Claudia

Night-time Dreams

Dear Sleeping Claudia’s brain,

Now the words I have to say to you are not as nice as before. Firstly, I think it’s a crime that I don’t dream every night. Can you tell me someway that will allow that? It’s very disappointing waking up and realising that I slept empty-headed. Not that I’m complaining that I have a peaceful night sleep, it’s just dull.

On the other hand, you do have your moments. Sometimes if I’m lucky I dream every night for a full week. This makes me very happy, especially when the dreams are good.

But another thing to complain about it is the content of my dreams. Kerri tells me she dreams about Super Junior at least every other night- I’ve only had three Asian related dreams in my life! One where I hugged Eunhyuk (acceptable) but nearly broke his bones! And another featured Seung-ri from Big Bang - Seung-Ri, seriously!? What about T.O.P?? Or if I’m being too fussy, Taeyang or G-Dragon will do, I suppose. The third was when I was meeting Siwon in the Port-O-Call for lunch, that’s lame. Please sort that out.

The third thing is the whole reoccurring people thing. People who know me might know what I mean here. There’s a small group of people that appear in my dreams all the time. I would like more of an mixture of people who star in my dreams, and none that scar me for life either. You know what I mean.

I hope I made that clear enough.

From Claudia

Future Dreams

Dear worried Claudia’s brain who thinks about the future too much,

Okay, I have been through this before in my blog. I worry. A lot. Especially about what way my life will end up.

The questions go through my head constantly: Where will I go to university at? Where will I live? What kind of house will I have? Will I ever get married? Who will I marry? Is he Asian? What age will I be? Will I always be this weight? Will I have children? How many? What will I name them? Will I have twins? All boys? Girls? Will I understand all this mortgage, insurance crap? Will I be poor? Will I ever get my driving test? Will I always be close to Jared? Will I be close to Mum and Dad? Will I run the business? Will I get a job or become a housewife? How long will I live? Will I become a grandmother? When will I die? Will I get to do everything I want to do? etc etc

Okay, brain. Stop worrying. I won’t allow it anymore. My emotions are messed up enough from just being a teenager so get lost and allow life to take it’s course.

From Claudia

3. YOUR PARENTS

Dear Mum and Dad,

Okay, I know you will probably never read this, which is maybe a good thing. I want to thank you for always being there for me, I’m glad you didn’t divorce or die or anything or I’d be even more messed up. I know I owe you a lot, something I don’t think I could ever do. (Unless I won the lottery or something)

Without your influence in my life, I know I wouldn’t be the person that I am today. You gave me the chance to grow up in a Christian home. This was something to build my morals, decisions and personality on. I don’t even want to think what I would be like if I wasn’t raised this way. But today I have an amazing relationship with God and I’m so so thankful for that.

Thank you for encouraging my love of art and broadening my creative talent: I understand if you were bored when I trailed you round art exhibitions all those years. I also want to thank you for accepting my passion for art and supporting me as I discuss choosing it as a course in university, even though I’m fully aware choosing art could get me no-where in life. I really value your opinion about making decisions for my future. It’s so helpful having someone older and wiser to guide me along, especially when you both know me so well.

I’m very grateful for all you have given me. Materialistically yes, but also the love and the memories we have had together. It’s hard to remember that sometimes. Especially when I’m cross. I’m sorry I always get so cross. But I always feel bad afterwards.

I probably have disappointed you in rows and I’m sorry about that. But I do think we get on very well usually.

I know you’re proud of me because I study well, I know you’re proud of me because I look after myself quite well, I know you’re proud of me because I’m a good child. I hope you’re proud of me in everything I attempt to do, especially in the future, which you know I’m terrified of. But I’m certain you will help me through it.

Dad, I want to thank you for allowing me to inherit your genes. I have lovely brown eyes and a round face (which I’ve been told I will appreciate when I am older) I am also thankful for crude sense of humour and interest in technology I have. I also enjoy the craic with you, us roaring mindlessly at each other can be lots of fun. However, you do have faults: I hate ‘Two and a Half Men’ on repeat 24 hours a day, and I despise having to watch it after you fall asleep snoring on the sofa at 9.30pm every night. It’s not fair. And I also don’t like how lazy you can be. Fair enough, you have to work lots but I don’t like cleaning up eggs after breakfast or cleaning the bathroom. Speaking of work, YOU WORK TOO HARD. You are all stressed usually and you pull your hair out. If you’re not careful you will die of a heart-attack, then how will ‘the business’ cope? We will all be screwed, just because you won’t sit down! And I don’t understand how you procrastinate so much, that just makes work worse. By the way, I may have to join Green Electrical if my art career doesn’t work out.

Mum, I want to thank you for all the good talks we have late at night. I feel like I can tell you anything and I usually do, because I don’t understand the concept of kept secrets or barriers between us. I want to give thanks also for my soft heart and awesome sense of style. You allowed me to freely develop my own style until I found what suits me. I’m glad you are not old. Like, really old. I also like how you’re not cross at Jared and I much. I’d usually just shout back, because I enjoy a good shout. I like how you accept me as I am, and handle my obsessions and monitor what I buy quite well. But you have your faults too: you never listen properly! Even though I know I’m sure I told you otherwise, you get it wrong! It drives me mad. Then you ARGUE otherwise, just like Jared, and it cracks us both up. You also make us clean the house a lot, I don’t really mind but it’s annoying when I want to do something else. This year’s exam pressure was grand for me, (let’s just hope I done okay) but Jared’s was absurd. Sure his marks were actually good, but it gets so boring listening to it after a week.

But, flip, this letter has gotten long. But anyway, thank you for setting such a good example for me. I want to be like you when I’m older. (I’m already turning into you anyway with my desire to clean) except I’ll have a little Asian boy who can play the drums. You are so so very organised, I love how I have inherited your instinct to use a to-do list and look after my stuff so well. You need to teach me how to deal with money next, I just don’t understand that.

And Dad, thank you for having an interest in cars, because I honestly don’t have a clue. And thanks for currently paying my insurance because I’m still at school. The craic is good when we go out for a drive and to our occasional Burrendale gym days together.

Okay, I’m ending this now. Thank you for all our memories together, and I hope there will be many more. Even if it’s just sitting in the house watching a film, I’m very happy to be a member of the Green family.

I’d end with saying I love you but you already know that.

- Lots of Love,

Claudia xox

FLAWS

Hello,

Okay, I don't think I'm normal. Well, I know I'm not. But I think my interests in Asians are getting a bit out of hand. I just watched a pile of Super Junior videos, one including a drama of them pretending to fancy each other. It was, I must admit, pretty hot. ASHAMED. I showed it to Naomi and Kerri for a second opinion, but they were busy and couldn't watch it. I need to sort my life out badly.

Uncle Gordon is going home to Belfast tomorrow, which basically marks the end of Christmas in my family. The decorations will be taken down, and that means I have to start art coursework, revision and a diet on Tuesday. Tomorrow we leave him home, but drop into Victoria Square for sale shopping first. It's one of my favourite days of the year, because I have a tonne of money to spend which I received as Christmas presents. (This money should be saved for London with school at Easter, but I don't know what is actually going to happen to it!)

I also need to sort out this blog, It seems to be all me me me, I I I...not really sure how to make it more interesting. I feel at the moment I am useless at everything. I used to think I had a knack for English, but I don't like it as much in school. For art, It's terrible! Even Mum said when she was looking through my folder it wasn't as good as usual. I just assumed I would get better, but it is going nowhere. I always thought I would get a job in I.C.T, now I don't even have that big of an interest in that either. I can't lose weight. I can't sing or dance. I can't be bothered to socialise anymore. I don't go out at the weekend because there is nowhere to go. Boys hate me. I'm loud and aggressive. I'm covered in spots and have dry skin which doesn't go away. I have an obsessive personality. I can't talk right, recently every sentence I speak has bad grammar in it. (is it strange to be self conscious about that?) It's very obvious to people when I dislike them. My teeth are discoloured. I hate wearing glasses and I know fine rightly I'm wrecking my eyes wearing lenses every day.

blahhhhhhahewrubclewnlewfnweklrfjnkwefnwkfjnwefkjbwefkjboewooh.

Now that's out of my system, I should probably sleep.