HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I am now 19, this gives me 365 days of being a teenager left.

I must make this worthwhile. Let’s list all the things that needs to be done.

1. Meet loads of new people.
2. Be nicer to my family.
3. Live for God.
4. Pass my exams.
5. Always try my best.
6. Reconnect with friends whom I have lost contact with.
7. Start sketching again.
8. Have faith in myself.
9. Have confidence in everything I do.
10. Stand up for what I believe in. 
11. Remain close with my friendship group from school.
12. Have a bit of romance in my life.
13. Eat more fruit.
14. Wear my retainer to bed.
15. Go on holiday.
16. Learn to cook.
17. Write letters.
18. Save money and spend it on something great.
19. Obtain my dream weight.
20. Become more inventive.
21. Buy a new pair of glasses.
22. Plan something awesome.
23. Learn how to use my graphics tablet.
24. Walk the dog more often.
25. Do something dramatic to my appearance.
26. Compliment others.
27. Get a job.
28. Take more photographs.
29. Continue to do my photo-of-the-day until 31st December 2012.
30. Spend more time with Jared.
31. Learn to drive.
32. Don’t stress.
33. Read more books!
34. Don’t worry.
35. Make more eye contact with others.
36. Redecorate the container.
37. Do something which would usually scare me.
38. Stop caring what others think of me or my interests.
39. Take vitamin tablet daily.
40. Go to a party.
41. Stop snacking, especially in the evening.
42. Travel alone.
43. Practice my signature because it's a mess.
44. Turn off the internet and dive into other hobbies.
45. Look after a plant.
46. Build up my physical strength.
47. Give money to the poor.
48. Get out of my comfort zone.
49. Make a movie.
50. Take make-up off before bed.
51. Go on holiday with friends before we all go our separate ways.
52. Spend less time online.
53. Recognize and praise the accomplishments of others.
54. Explore and widen my music taste.
55. Start baking more often.
56. Apologise for any wrong-doings.
57. Create a list of my favourite films.
58. Make more phone calls.
59. Work on being more flirty.
60. Pray consistently and earnestly.
61. Control my temper.
62. Drink less tea.
63. Stop being a horrible person.
64. Join an extracurricular activity.
65. Enjoy every day as much as possible.
66. Go to the beach.
67. Schedule some me-time.
68. Express how I really am to people I don’t know well.
69. Read my Bible regularly.
70. Smile at random people.
71. Stop, break and breathe.
72. Eat food from around the world.
73. Help out round the house.
74. Use the stairs instead of an escalator/lift.
75. Get experience a paid or voluntary job relating to my career.
76. Become less reliant on my mobile phone.
77. Stop being shy...
78. ...and even worse, snobby.
79. Tell someone I love them.
80. Practice willpower.
81. Sort out my skincare regime.
82. Look at the stars.
83. Keep secrets.
84. Turn down my music volume or I will go deaf.
85. Improve my posture.
86. Be more friendly and approachable.
87. Look after myself.
88. Spend more time with my Grandparents.
89. Continue to look for bargains, like a boss.
90. Bake a cake.
91. Watch different T.V shows.
92. Look after my hair.
93. Enjoy a bath.
94. Stop Facebook stalking.
95. Mend any broken relationships.
96. Keep my wardrobe organised.
97. Drink loadddsss of water.
98. Work on things early and get them done and out of the way.
99. Do what I love and what I want to do.
100. Live life to the fullest.

INTENTIONS

Hey,

I don't think I have blogged for a while. I'm surprised how I've kept at it, it was part of my new years resolutions.

I must admit, school is going crap. I feel really stressed but just don't care enough to do anything about it. I’m failing all my subjects and it’s so tempting to drop out of school. (However, I am much too proud for that.) I was quite depressed last week, just moping about, looking tired and upset. Mum looked worried. This week I don't feel depressed, just really angry. And ridiculously clumsy. You won't believe the amount of things I've dropped, spilt, lost and how I've managed to make a fool out of myself over the silliest things. Last week I would have had a mental breakdown, but this week I'm getting so so cross about it, like it's crazy. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I think it's because I'm wearing glasses. I never had problems wearing lenses- but since my optician told me last Tuesday that wearing contact lenses 15 hours a day, 7 days a week is too much (what an outrage!) my life has gone downhill. Or maybe it's just a coincidence. Who knows.

I need to get out more. I feel like I've been living in a cage the last few weeks. Are all people this boring? Do they get out more than I do? I have no money, no car and no friends! Well that’s an overreaction, I do have friends. We just don’t do much.

I am so self conscious recently. I blame the glasses again. Probably no one else cares, but I care about my appearance. And that matters more than anyone. I just realised how vain I sounded there. Hm, well I’m not that vain, I just like looking after myself. I do love cosmetic stuff and looking after my skin. Mum got me eye creme and a big tub of Clinique for Christmas which I use faithfully. I am afraid of getting old. I don’t want to get wrinkly. Well at the same time I want to be a glamourous granny, but not yet. But by the looks of things, I’m gonna be a glamourous FAT granny.

That’s if I live that long. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

I really don’t think I’m a good blogger. My blog is likely to be filled with spelling and grammar mistakes, some of it probably doesn’t make sense at all. I also noticed I use the same words all the time to express myself. “Basically” “I think” “so” and “Hm.”

My mood. I’m not as happy as I should be. This is possibly due to stress from school, a non-existent social life and not getting the most out of life. I noticed in English as we study poems that I am very like the two poets we are studying, Edward Thomas and Robert Frost. But they were like depressed for their whole lives and had a tough deal, while I on the other hand have everything I could ever ask for. I remember this line from one of their poems “I cannot bite the day to the core” I think it was a Thomas poem. It really relates to me, as I physically can’t do that. But I really really want to. I want to make the most out of my life. But the point is, I’m not doing that either and I find it miserable that life is going so fast and how I have failed to do anything useful with it.

Seriously, where is my future going? I’m sounded like some kind of career-obsessed, destiny-seeking emo. But I want to know these things! I need to pray more, I really do. It’s just so difficult.

ciao

-claudia

SUNSCREEN

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99...

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance. even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you

knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.

Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…