WISHES TWO

And so the wishing shall continue!!

I wish for....a beautiful house.

I would love a big mansion with many pretty ornaments and paintings. Preferably a castle that isn’t too old. (because it would be more than likely unhygienic...and haunted)

I wish that...that no-one uninvited will see my blog.

This sounds awful, but I really really hope that none of my family members see le Claudblog. Not that there’s anything bad on it, it’s just nice to have somewhere private where I can chatter away and not worry what they would think.

Obviously I do know my friends and a few others do visit, but that’s different. They understand the weirdness and join in on the Blogging fun.

If I go traveling, die or move away for some unknown reason they could read it then. But I would feel conscious if they saw it now. They would ask loads of questions which would be extremely irritating. They do that on Facebook too: “Oh, I see you are commenting on her post there, what do you mean by that? Oh, who is Gareth Graham? (using you as an example Gareth, lol) Why is he asking you about art on your wall? Oh Claudia! I saw you online at 1am last night! Could you not sleep...” And so on.

I wish....to attend a Korean Pop concert.

After watching fancams from SM Town in Paris and gaping at SHINee saunter through Heathrow airport in London made me realise how I’m actually craving to see these guys live. Any of them, even if it’s a group or soloist I’m not as familiar with, I would love the opportunity. I wish for more K-Pop concerts to happen in the United Kingdom.

(Reading over this made me laugh..."craving?" it's like I want SHINee like I want a chocolate biscuit: MMM.)

I wish for...attending the final Harry Potter film showing at midnight.

I’ve been a hardcore HP fan for 9 years of my life. That’s exactly half of my existence so far. Please, may I see a Harry Potter premiere. This is my last chance.

I wish...to back to school for one more day.

I can’t believe this is one of my wishes. Although Upper 6th in K.H.S was one of the best years of my school life, any time I drive by the school or even see something that reminds me makes my heart feel sad. I didn’t realise how much I missed school. I feel a pang of regret that I maybe didn’t make the effort with the people of my year.

I yearn for just one more day of talking to them all, and catching up with the craic. Getting the cramped bus in. Internally singing along to my iPod when walking up the Prefect’s stairs every morning. Checking if Alison was in. Catching up on the craic with Noelle in registration. Celebrating if a class was cancelled. Spending an hour or two in the library in my seat. Bullying people to get yearbook information in. Prayer meeting with the gang on Monday’s. Complaining about ongoing English homework. Crying when we had to go to triple English on Wednesday’s. Shouting at Mary-Jane to do some work. Duty with Emma: our weekly gossip sessions. The most BORING lunchtimes ever. Pee-time with Amy and our hand-dryer dance. The dreadful bus rides home with those little monsters.

Oh please, just one more day. Give me just one more day of school life because I didn’t appreciate it when I could have.

I wish...I could dance.

Seriously, I don’t think I have any rhythm or beat in my body. Ah, how I wish I was agile and graceful without looking like an elephant wearing roller skates!

I wish...to become famous.

Yes, I would like to be famous. I don’t know what this could possibly be for, but I just think it would be nice for people to recognize me for some reason. I wouldn’t like to be exceptionally famous, where strangers start screaming and running like I’m the almighty Bieber or something, just a small collection of people recognizing me “Hey, aren’t you Claudia?”

However I don’t think my full name sounds very star like, I may need a stage name. Claudine Bean.

I wish...I could just eat and not put on any weight.

Life can be so unfair! I see girls eating these massive chocolate bars and they are like, size 6. If I ate like that I would have a full stone on in a week!

I wish for...an unlimited amount of pairs of glasses.

When I am older I would like to be one of those super classy women who have a pair of glasses for every outfit they wear. May I add here that I would also like an unlimited amount of contact lenses too, because sometimes there are clothes that simply don’t suit spectacles.

I wish...to grow old beautifully and glamorously.

Face it. All us ladies want to look like Jane Fonda when we eventually reach 73.

Okay I'm done now.

- Claudia

INTENTIONS

Hey,

I don't think I have blogged for a while. I'm surprised how I've kept at it, it was part of my new years resolutions.

I must admit, school is going crap. I feel really stressed but just don't care enough to do anything about it. I’m failing all my subjects and it’s so tempting to drop out of school. (However, I am much too proud for that.) I was quite depressed last week, just moping about, looking tired and upset. Mum looked worried. This week I don't feel depressed, just really angry. And ridiculously clumsy. You won't believe the amount of things I've dropped, spilt, lost and how I've managed to make a fool out of myself over the silliest things. Last week I would have had a mental breakdown, but this week I'm getting so so cross about it, like it's crazy. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I think it's because I'm wearing glasses. I never had problems wearing lenses- but since my optician told me last Tuesday that wearing contact lenses 15 hours a day, 7 days a week is too much (what an outrage!) my life has gone downhill. Or maybe it's just a coincidence. Who knows.

I need to get out more. I feel like I've been living in a cage the last few weeks. Are all people this boring? Do they get out more than I do? I have no money, no car and no friends! Well that’s an overreaction, I do have friends. We just don’t do much.

I am so self conscious recently. I blame the glasses again. Probably no one else cares, but I care about my appearance. And that matters more than anyone. I just realised how vain I sounded there. Hm, well I’m not that vain, I just like looking after myself. I do love cosmetic stuff and looking after my skin. Mum got me eye creme and a big tub of Clinique for Christmas which I use faithfully. I am afraid of getting old. I don’t want to get wrinkly. Well at the same time I want to be a glamourous granny, but not yet. But by the looks of things, I’m gonna be a glamourous FAT granny.

That’s if I live that long. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

I really don’t think I’m a good blogger. My blog is likely to be filled with spelling and grammar mistakes, some of it probably doesn’t make sense at all. I also noticed I use the same words all the time to express myself. “Basically” “I think” “so” and “Hm.”

My mood. I’m not as happy as I should be. This is possibly due to stress from school, a non-existent social life and not getting the most out of life. I noticed in English as we study poems that I am very like the two poets we are studying, Edward Thomas and Robert Frost. But they were like depressed for their whole lives and had a tough deal, while I on the other hand have everything I could ever ask for. I remember this line from one of their poems “I cannot bite the day to the core” I think it was a Thomas poem. It really relates to me, as I physically can’t do that. But I really really want to. I want to make the most out of my life. But the point is, I’m not doing that either and I find it miserable that life is going so fast and how I have failed to do anything useful with it.

Seriously, where is my future going? I’m sounded like some kind of career-obsessed, destiny-seeking emo. But I want to know these things! I need to pray more, I really do. It’s just so difficult.

ciao

-claudia

FEBRUARY'S COOL LIST

Okay, time for an update on the coolness and admiration of certain men and women that have caught my eye recently.

1. MIKE CHANG

If you are a GLEE fan, you might recognise this face. This guy is a background character who has appeared in every episode I've seen in the last couple weeks. Nobody seems to know his name but is referred to as the "Other Asian." I must admit, he is one of the reasons I enjoy the show so much. After a bit of research, I have discovered his real name is Harry Shum Jr. and he has Twitter! (I can proudly say I follow him.) He can DANCE, speak Spanish and Chinese.

2. GARY MAI

This is just an ordinary guy from Brooklyn I started talking to on the ol' faithful A.C.T. I added him on Facebook for handy banter. As I flicked through his album photos I don't think I laughed as hard in my life! Yeah I'm sad. But his expressions are legendary. He has that natural funniness that is so so hard to find. I would tell you to look at the photos yourself to understand what I mean, but that would be a bit weird. Hm a cool list is weird enough actually.

3. CHARLIE MCDONNELL

Mr Coollike is still here.. I think he has moved down one? I don't know, I need to check. The reason I still adore him is the approaching London trip at Easter gives me a higher change of meeting him. haha. Plus, in his latest video he is wearing Jimmy Glasses. An automatic win in my eyes.

4. CONRAD CHOW

OOH poor Conrad has dropped from number 1 to number 4. He's still pretty cool, but he needs to put some more Youtube videos up to add to his coolness.

CHARLIE

He's still second in Claudia's Cool List. But he's so SO close to number one he could taste it.