what's next?

Evening all,

I cannot sleep. I had class this evening and they were talking about dissertations and the mountains of work still left to hand in. It was all too much.

I’m not sure what I’ll be doing with my life when I eventually finish my Masters. Here is a list of things I could try at the end of September:

• Join a baking class - I would love to learn how to make decorative cakes
• Take up helping in Sunday School and G.B again to help out more in my church
• Join the gym or start swimming again
• Help out at a charity shop
• Make a website to display my portfolio work online
• Create more vector art - it's fun and looks good printed
• Become more involved in the arts in my local area
• More freelance work, if at all possible
• Save up for a new car
• Learn how to use Adobe Illustrator
• Update my CV
• Go out walking everyday and enjoy the beautiful area I live in
• Get experience working in schools to fulfil that goal of teaching in the near future
• Run a photoshop class locally - I’d love to do this but not quite sure how?
• Get a job - *cries*
• Read novels - I never have time to read so then I’ll have no excuse

What shall the future bring?

CELEBRITY ETC.

What exactly would you do if you saw your favorite celebrity?
First of all, who IS my favourite celebrity? I have so many - I think I would freak out if I saw any of them. I remember when I met The Wanted and 2 thirds of Biffy Clyro I got really shy and could hardly speak but afterwards went all giddy, so I guess something like that would happen on a much larger scale, ha.

If you switch places with someone for one day, who would it be?
Haha, maybe my answer here is kinda boring, but I’d probably just swap with a guy, just to see what it’s like to live as a guy as a day. Just one day though.

What you saw at the news and talk about it.
This is terrible because I’m a Media student but I haven’t watched the news in ages. I would when I’m at home because that’s basically all my Mum would watch so it’s kinda on in the background. Last time I watched the news I remember hearing that Liam Neeson was coming to Ballymena in the new year. Hannah (Currently his biggest fan) was ecstatic and insisted we all go for a road trip to see him.

Celebrities you would like to see working together in a movie or T.V show?
I’d love a collaboration of all my favourite actors and actresses - Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Andrew Garfield, Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, Johnny Depp, Sandra Bullock, Robert Downey Jr, David Tennant, Meryl Streep, Benedict Cumberbatch, Ellen Page, Colin Firth, Angelina Jolie, and Anne Hathaway. That would probably be the biggest budget film of all time but sounds amazing!! Oh and it would need to be directed by Christopher Nolan. Yes I am done here.

A hero who has let you down.
I definitely wouldn’t call BIGBANG my heroes because that’s really lame, but feel disapointed with how they are now compared to their older work. Yes I still would call them my favourite group, but I think YG is changing them to be more marketable. Maybe it’s what they have to do to get world-wide fame, but I miss the way they used to be. :(
Also, TOP is FAR TOO SKINNY! I miss old TOP.

A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days.
I don’t think I can pin-point one particular artist that has helped me through something tough. I certainly am aware that I would turn to music if I’m feeling annoyed, upset and even for positive emotions too - but I think there are specific songs which I’d use for that than actual artists.
Like I’d be more likely to want to listen to oppressive music genres if I was feeling angry or depressed, like The Used or My Chemical Romance. But if I was feeling more content it’s likely I’d be listening to K-Pop or film soundtracks. I don’t know - it varies I guess. You probably could guess my mood by the songs I’m currently listening to.

If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
Myself in 30 years, so I can ask what mistakes I made so I can avoid them, the people I should hold onto, the ones I should let go, the bad habits I shouldn't start, the good ones I should and where I was most happy and productive.

FED-UP

Whats on your mind lately.

I worry about my workload at university - I just can’t WAIT for Christmas holidays because I feel mentally and emotionally drained. My parents are actually in America at the minute so I’ve been thinking of them a lot. I can’t wait for them to get back - like I thought it would be fun living up here, but right now I’m on my own and that’s not fun at all!

What's the best thing going for you right now?

OH MY GOSH I never said I was going to see BIGBANG did I?? So that’s probably the most exciting thing happening in my life right now. They are coming to London in December and Emma, Kerri and I are flying over to see them. I’ve never been so excited to something for a while - shame all this work needs to be done before I go though!!

Describe a typical day in your current life:

• Wake up early.
• Quiet Time.
• Do readings for course.
• Eat breakfast.
• Do practical work - Photoshop or InDesign.
• Mess about on Tumblr/Facebook/Twitter frequently.
• Do more work.
• Lunch.
• More Work.
• Tea.
• Clean.
• Dinner.
• Shower.
• Mess about/socialise until I’m too tired.
• Repeat.

DO YOU SEE WHAT MY LIFE HAS BECOME!? Actually can’t stand it anymore! 

What would you like to accomplish this year?

I’ve had a weird old year with it’s ups and downs. I don’t have any goals for the end of this year because it’s already November and near the end of 2012, so it’ll basically get into the routine of university life and work hard. Like, really hard. I’m kinda scared actually - This semester we have two practical modules instead of one, and Hannah and I have to do a group project together. I’m really afraid I’ll get depressed again due to feeling so anxious or else rot away in my room because I’m only on campus two days a week. Sigh! I’ll keep you posted on this one. 

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
24 years old: I shall hopefully be a Bachelor of Arts with a job somewhere - I really don’t know what I want to specialise in yet, I haven’t made up my mind yet.
29 years old: Engaged maybe or married with a house. I was at this gorgeous house a couple of weeks ago and it’s made me realise how much I would love to build and design my own house. I’m being ambitious but sure, why not!

35 years old: I live in optimism that God will bless me with a loving husband and children. I don’t like being too positive here incase his plan is that I live alone (in my giant house lol) with, as Emma said, 100 westies. (Although I don’t plan to own any more westies after Toby - one’s a nightmare to look after, never-mind 100. Poo everywhere.) But if a family is part of his plan, I will be a very happy lady.

I don’t really know how to predict what I want to do because I know there’s no way 3 or 4 years ago would I have known that I would be where I am right now! So shall we wait and see? 

Stay tuned,
Claudia

ABOUT ME (MEME TIME!)

Post a picture of yourself and introduce yourself:

This was taken today so it’s as recent as it’s gonna get. Hello I am Claudia - but you all should know that by now. I’m hoping to get these new glasses, do you like them?

List 10 random facts about yourself:
♦ I really, really love baked beans.
♦ I have OCD when it comes to matching and arranging things.
♦ I always have my nails painted.
♦ I’d say I have about 300 photos up on my walls at home.
♦ I love doing the weekly grocery shop.
♦ I get really excited getting post.
♦ I fall for people far too easily.
♦ My pet-hate is when someone has the same stuff as me or copies me.
♦ My favourite time of year is between October - December.
♦ I only got my ears pierced last year - when I was 18.

List 3 people who have influenced you and describe how.
I shall only list one. This person is my Mother - who has been continually loving, positive, realistic and helped me make many important decisions in my life.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
Invisibility! #stalker

Describe your most embarrassing moment/An awkward moment that happened today or in the past:

I slipped and fell on stage in one of my high school’s musicals a couple of years ago - I usually say this is my embarrassing moment but the funny thing is I don’t remember it happening. 

Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

Spiders - This is a rather obvious one because so many people don’t like spiders. They are gross.
Dark, enclosed spaces - I think have a problem because both my Granny and Mum are claustrophobic in small enclosed places. I go weak at the knees and panic a lot when I’m in the dark and I’m ten times worse in a dark, small closed-in area. So I think I am claustrophobic. :(

Dying in a car accident - When I’m out on my own driving I always think of Jordan and it scares me if something like that happened to me. I mean this in the least selfish way possible. 

Describe your relationship with your parents.
Really good actually - which I’ve always been very thankful for. Mum and I would be very close - we would have a lot in common and would talk a lot. She’s like an older sister in a way because she’s more modern than most women her age. She expects good behaviour from Jared and I and would discipline us fairly, not that we’d do much wrong anyway.
However she talks too much though, and always thinks she’s right, even if she’s wrong. Both these can be very tiresome and causes problems in the house, more with Jared than me. (Because he also thinks he’s right, so there is conflict.) Having said that, she’s good fun to be with and a brilliant mother because I can’t imagine I would be the easiest person to live with either!
Dad’s more quiet around the house - he always looks like he is deep in thought. He can be very amusing and talks a lot when he’s in the right notion. He is very, very kind - his gruff exterior makes that difficult to see sometimes though. That’s not a bad thing though, I know his heart is in the right place. Me and him have had good laughs.
He works hard, probably too hard. Sometimes I wish that he would spend more time with us - and just abandon what must be done and take the opportunity when it’s here. Yes I understand work is important but it saddens me. That’s what annoys me most about my parents. I almost need to kick them up the ass just to get a day arranged to do anything. Dad can’t take off work often. We haven’t had a holiday for years. Surely we should make the most of these precious times together before it’s too late? It’s so difficult to get them motivated to do something extravagant or out of the ordinary - they are so set in their ways! It’s very frustrating.
However they both work hard and want to thank them for being amazing parents, sending and funding us to do everything from swimming, music lessons and speech and drama, prevailing us to do things we thought we could never accomplish and finally always always supporting, loving and caring for us.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

*Shrugs* I really don’t know - I can’t imagine myself living anywhere in particular and the idea of living far away never appealed to me. Sorry, I am terribly boring.

Favorite Quotes:
"When looking for a husband or wife, here’s my advice: Run towards the Lord as fast as you can. If someone can keep up with you, introduce yourself." - Professor J. Jung

I read this quote frequently because there’s so much depth and wisdom in it that applies to my own life right now. I’m at that age where I maybe, maybe have or am about to meet the man I will marry - imagine that? Although this concept constantly meddles with my mind, I need to remember that God is in charge, and he will provide if the timing is right. This quote is perfect when my mind gets carried away and I forget that it's all up to God what happens.

“She is out there. My Cinderella. She is real. She exists. I pray for her constantly. May God satisfy the desires of her heart, draw her close, consume her. May He claim her passions, her identity, her refuge, her hopes, her strengths and weaknesses, every fiber of her being. May she treasure and cherish her Saviour more than anything of this world and cling to His will with every ounce of her stamina. By all that she is, does, and strives to be, may He draw near to her and she to Him.” - Adam Young

This is another encouraging quote and messes with my emotions quite a lot when I read it. Maybe this is another #Claudiaisfussy moment but wow, to find a guy that would think of his future wife like that would be glorious. I simply don’t want to waste my life on other guys if I knew he cared for me like this! It gives me goosebumps.

If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
I would like to be a parrot because they are colourful and can fly. 

What is your dream job, and why?

I have a number of jobs that I secretly would like to do - I don’t tell many people of these plans because I don’t know what I’m meant to be doing with my life and I’m not really a career-ambitious person. However I shall spill the beans with you today since it’s part of the meme:
Teacher - Believe it or not, I’ve always had it in my mind to be a teacher. I love kids - they are so cool and I want to inspire them! The whole idea of teaching something I like really appeals to me though - like even teaching others to use photoshop or computer programs would be class, because I would be passionate at what I’m teaching - and that’s important.
Boss of a Big Business - I’m a good leader when I know what I’m talking about. I would love to be a boss of a magazine company or something I actually care about. Y‘know, just looking good and bossing people around - a bit like Miranda Priestly. Power is fun. And I may have money too, which would be a nice bonus. But most importantly I would have a career at something I’m good at and know what I’m talking about.
Part Time Graphic Designer - Although I love the idea of a big office job, I would be just as happy (actually, probably happier because I wouldn’t be dying of stress) being a housewife and doing some part-time graphic/web design and animation. Like my own little mini business. So I’d have a bit of income but can work when suits me, and also would be able to keep house and spend time with my children.

Yey.

WISHES TWO

And so the wishing shall continue!!

I wish for....a beautiful house.

I would love a big mansion with many pretty ornaments and paintings. Preferably a castle that isn’t too old. (because it would be more than likely unhygienic...and haunted)

I wish that...that no-one uninvited will see my blog.

This sounds awful, but I really really hope that none of my family members see le Claudblog. Not that there’s anything bad on it, it’s just nice to have somewhere private where I can chatter away and not worry what they would think.

Obviously I do know my friends and a few others do visit, but that’s different. They understand the weirdness and join in on the Blogging fun.

If I go traveling, die or move away for some unknown reason they could read it then. But I would feel conscious if they saw it now. They would ask loads of questions which would be extremely irritating. They do that on Facebook too: “Oh, I see you are commenting on her post there, what do you mean by that? Oh, who is Gareth Graham? (using you as an example Gareth, lol) Why is he asking you about art on your wall? Oh Claudia! I saw you online at 1am last night! Could you not sleep...” And so on.

I wish....to attend a Korean Pop concert.

After watching fancams from SM Town in Paris and gaping at SHINee saunter through Heathrow airport in London made me realise how I’m actually craving to see these guys live. Any of them, even if it’s a group or soloist I’m not as familiar with, I would love the opportunity. I wish for more K-Pop concerts to happen in the United Kingdom.

(Reading over this made me laugh..."craving?" it's like I want SHINee like I want a chocolate biscuit: MMM.)

I wish for...attending the final Harry Potter film showing at midnight.

I’ve been a hardcore HP fan for 9 years of my life. That’s exactly half of my existence so far. Please, may I see a Harry Potter premiere. This is my last chance.

I wish...to back to school for one more day.

I can’t believe this is one of my wishes. Although Upper 6th in K.H.S was one of the best years of my school life, any time I drive by the school or even see something that reminds me makes my heart feel sad. I didn’t realise how much I missed school. I feel a pang of regret that I maybe didn’t make the effort with the people of my year.

I yearn for just one more day of talking to them all, and catching up with the craic. Getting the cramped bus in. Internally singing along to my iPod when walking up the Prefect’s stairs every morning. Checking if Alison was in. Catching up on the craic with Noelle in registration. Celebrating if a class was cancelled. Spending an hour or two in the library in my seat. Bullying people to get yearbook information in. Prayer meeting with the gang on Monday’s. Complaining about ongoing English homework. Crying when we had to go to triple English on Wednesday’s. Shouting at Mary-Jane to do some work. Duty with Emma: our weekly gossip sessions. The most BORING lunchtimes ever. Pee-time with Amy and our hand-dryer dance. The dreadful bus rides home with those little monsters.

Oh please, just one more day. Give me just one more day of school life because I didn’t appreciate it when I could have.

I wish...I could dance.

Seriously, I don’t think I have any rhythm or beat in my body. Ah, how I wish I was agile and graceful without looking like an elephant wearing roller skates!

I wish...to become famous.

Yes, I would like to be famous. I don’t know what this could possibly be for, but I just think it would be nice for people to recognize me for some reason. I wouldn’t like to be exceptionally famous, where strangers start screaming and running like I’m the almighty Bieber or something, just a small collection of people recognizing me “Hey, aren’t you Claudia?”

However I don’t think my full name sounds very star like, I may need a stage name. Claudine Bean.

I wish...I could just eat and not put on any weight.

Life can be so unfair! I see girls eating these massive chocolate bars and they are like, size 6. If I ate like that I would have a full stone on in a week!

I wish for...an unlimited amount of pairs of glasses.

When I am older I would like to be one of those super classy women who have a pair of glasses for every outfit they wear. May I add here that I would also like an unlimited amount of contact lenses too, because sometimes there are clothes that simply don’t suit spectacles.

I wish...to grow old beautifully and glamorously.

Face it. All us ladies want to look like Jane Fonda when we eventually reach 73.

Okay I'm done now.

- Claudia

WISHES ONE

“When you wish upon a star

Makes no difference who you are

Anything your heart desires

Will come to you”

Firstly, I would like to say that I’m not copying James’ idea.

Secondly, I would like to say the first sentence was a lie.

Today begins the Wish blog post.

I think one of the worst things about growing up is that we stop wishing for things because it’s realised wishing does not work and we have to face up to reality. I detest maturity so I will discuss my most treasured wishes and dreams that I desire.

I wish for...health for my family present and future.

This really goes without explanation, but Mum always told me that your health is one of the most precious things you’ll have. So Mr Genie, I wish for good health.

I wish for... the perfect man and to be eternally happy.

I feel I am losing hope in ever finding a man, I must confess. And yes, I know I am still young, but most married couples meet or start dating in their late teens/early twenties and this fact distresses me greatly because I am ALONE!! And in all seriousness, I would prefer just to settle down and get married than go to university. But where I exist, no man takes my fancy. (being fussy is my downfall and the explanation for my singleness #claudiaisfussy) so I am optimistic that university will open some doors in the dating world.

So I wish for some decent guy to sweep me off my feet. (If he’s strong enough that is.)

I wish that...I would win reasonable amount of money.

I think if I had unlimited wealth I would be very discontent, so instead I have wished to win a rational amount of money that would allow me to survive a standard way of living in the future. Something that would allow me to pay off a mortgage, a student loan or assist in build a house. Then I would still have to work to afford luxuries. Seems like a fair deal to me.

I wish...that I could play the violin.

Sadly, I have no interest in music since being forced to play piano as a child. “Claudia, playing piano is simple maths! Just count the beats as you play!” “I HATE MATHS. I HATE PIANO LESSONS. I HATE EVERYTHING. LEAVE ME ALONE” This caused so much anger and dispute I refused to learn anything else after that. Regrettably, I really do wish that I could play the violin.

I think violins are the best musical instruments in existence. There is nothing more attractive than a someone who can play a string instrument: they look very elegant and composed, it’s so engaging. Love it!

I wish for...a walk-in wardrobe.

To put this simply, I’ve wanted a walk-in wardrobe for many years of my life. The first time such a notion came into my head was when I was watching the ‘Sex and the City’ film with Emma N. When I saw Carrie Bradshaw’s new wardrobe that Mr Big gave her I died inside. There’s so much space to hold everything, and I could change clothes in my wardrobe area without garments flying everywhere and getting lost all over the place.

I wish for...my student loan to be paid off.

I haven’t even started university yet, and already I’m thinking of the debts that will troll me for the rest of my working life. I do not like worry, and would like all these silly debts to vanish.

I wish...I could be able to turn invisible at will.

I think having the power to turn invisible would come in very handy in certain situations. Sneaking in places and listening to people’s conversations could be interesting...but perhaps disturbing too.

I wish...I could travel to Korea/travel without worry.

I’m not sure if you knew this, but I would like to go to Korea?! (Sorry, I’m not very good at sarcasm, baha)

I know it would never happen because 1. It’s a lot of money. 2. I have no-one to go with. 3. It would be difficult to prepare. 4. I’m too afraid!

As much as I love my family, I feel slightly burdened that I have been so overprotected! Now I’m older I feel as though I am incapable of doing anything on my own which makes everything very frightening.

I just wish I could go there without all the hassle from everyone. :-/

I wish....I could become a metamorphmagus.

Only if you are cool enough would you know what this is. If you know who Nymphadora Tonks is (Ha! If, everyone should know who Tonks is!) Tonks is able to change her appearance at will. Imagine how awesome and useful that would be?? I could customise my hair colour and style to match my outfits!

Part 2 will continue....soon.

KICK THE BUCKET.

I was having a shower and suddenly felt inspired to create a bucket list of things to do or places to see before I expire on this earth. Some of these are serious, some are ridiculous, but I would like to complete this list before I die, unless this occurs by next week, which would make it extremely unlikely.

• Pass my driving test.
• Get my teeth whitened.
• Send more fan mail to celebrities.
• Mail a secret to Postsecret.
• Visit Disneyland.
• Stay in contact with my pen-pal.
• Have children. Perhaps 3.
• Be someone’s inspiration.
• See a K-Pop concert.
• Visit New York.
• Go to a film premier and stand in the crowds squealing like a crazy fool.
• Obtain my dream weight. (I may keep track of this one.)
• Use a Fish Feet pedicure! *nibble nibble*
• Send a message in a bottle.
• Adopt a child.
• Own a walk-in wardrobe like Carrie Bradshaw.
• Save money.
• Live every day for Jesus.
• Create my dream home: something weird and interesting. Vintage and quirky.
• Give up something for Lent.
• Learn a K-Pop dance routine.
• Reinvent my style, influence from other female role models.
• Do some paintings on a large scale. (This will happen when I finish A-Level art.)
• Make a list of 100 films I want to watch.
• Get my ears pierced.
• Own my own business.
• Become a plus-size model, or at least participate in a professional photo-shoot.
• Become a style icon for others.
• Continue blogging for years to come

You know, if I pressed at this, I probably could have this whole list completed by the end of the year, excluding the exceptions of having kids and stuff. I just would need a whole lot of money to travel and buy.

Please donate to Claudia’s Bucket List!

TONIGHT

Things that have been floating round my brain recently and feel the need to talk about, and just write down really.

Penpals

Not sure if I have talked about this, but I have taken up the hobby of snail-mail. I have 3 penpals from South Korea. (Three is my limit, it’s too expensive otherwise!) and it’s just something to take my mind off everything, as well as get some nice post addressed to me. I have got one letter so far and have sent the reply as well as another on Monday. I hope it has arrived by now! I tried to make the letter as pretty as possible. Minjung said she liked TVXQ on her first letter so I decorated the envelope with photographs of them. :)

Viscom

It’s been three weeks since my interview and physiologically it’s tearing me apart waiting for a reply. I’ve been waiting at the postbox every day after school as well as my heart skipping a beat every time an email comes through on my phone, expecting to be UCAS track. It doesn’t seem fair that all my friends have replies from where they want to go except for me! Everything is so uncertain, I just NEED a reply: wether acceptation or rejection, just to give me some kind of purpose to work.

Studying

I feel a bit sick thinking of what’s on in the next few months. I was filling in my calendar the other day and time is so short. There are many events on from March to May. I’m SO gonna fail English, I attempted studying it last week and nearly broke down. I like having something to work for, but I feel there is NO reason to work at the moment!

Future

Although I’ve only caught parts of this topic conversations my friends have had lately, it’s left me thinking of such questions as Am I going to get married? Children? Job? Where will I live? Blah Blah, etc. To be honest I’ve been very cynical lately and disagree with everyone else’s opinion or ideas. I secretly snigger at them, gosh I’m so mean!

I’ve only had 2 and a half days at school this week and it’s left me amazed at what people’s ideas are for their future. At the minute I feel I will be a workaholic in times ahead, working in a busy city, being a boss of a section of a big company.

Yearbook

This year I stepped up to design our 2011 U6 Yearbook. Good idea in theory, yes. But I thought everyone would be keen to help out. They are not.

I’m not sure if I’m power hungry and I’m turning into some kind of yearbook dictator, but our year are atrocious at sending photos. That means I’m looking up ALL the photographs up using Facebook, as well as designing each page separately. And only two people have returned their bio thing. It’s very time consuming and frustrating.

Desire

Don’t know if I’m going through a phase, or am just aware now because of Jordan’s observations, but do I talk and think about men far too much? Is my brain corrupted by unhealthy thoughts?! Subtle! LOL

Big Bang

Big Bang’s new album is out, and it actually made it into the Billboard charts today. It’s so good. I’m getting back into the habit of listening to music again.

Wanting the world

Why is it when you have no money you see everything you like? Especially unnecessary crap online. I would prefer to not say what this all is, because you would look and shake your heads at me in pity.

A lot of that was quite negative and depressing. I think I am tired! Goodnight everybody!

THINGS THAT CROSS MY MIND A LOT

“Heh heh, he’s hot”

I must admit, I think about guys a lot. Being female and an adolescent, it’s perfectly normal for me to swoon over men. (I keep telling myself that anyway.) Like, there’s girls from the age of 12 with steady boyfriends right through high school, and seriously that’s not for me at all. I’m far too busy to have time to spend with a boyfriend to be honest. I’m sure the right guy will come along someday, but for now, I will window shop.

“I look a mess”

Okay, I don’t think this all the time, but sometimes you just look at yourself in the mirror and go eugh. It’s not all the craic having a round face, I would love to have glowing cheekbones and beautiful pearly teeth (it was quite saddening to realise my teeth weren’t going to be any whiter when I got my brace off in 2008) I do like having flawless skin though, I hope my skin lasts until I’m old. I’ll just keep slappin’ the face cream on.

“Dang how could these guys/girls look so hot/skinny/stylish/charismatic/gorgeous/cute/pretty/funny/ TALENTED?”

Yeah, K-Pop goes in my mind a lot, not as much as usual. But their music is so awesome, I love it so much. And Korea’s fashion is many steps ahead of us, I’d just travel over there to get some of the amazing style! It’s all good fun. I like thinking about it.

“Aww, why can’t I do that.”

I often feel a pang of jealously for them multi-talented people who can do everything I can’t. Dance. Sing. Speak aloud without crapping up a single sentence. Play an instrument. Be better at art. Do maths without a calculator. Make funny jokes. Have perfect eyesight.

In my head I think how cool it would be if I was able to do these things, then I go back to reality and realise I can’t. Life can be cruel!

“That would be a good post idea.”

Yes. Frequently, at least once a day, I think about Blogger or an idea of something I could blog about. One of them ‘idea’ things I have..

“Eugh I’m so tired..ah my foot..ah the hanger fell...i tripped..hit my head... gah why am I so stupid”

This is me on school mornings, especially Mondays, because I’m very tired after the weekend. So I usually go into school in a foul mood..unless tea and music helps. It does 99.4% of the time. I often wonder what way my conscious speaks, and when typing it down, I sound like an ogre.

“You should be my bay-be, bay-be, bay-be”

“put your PAWS up”

“Eh eh Eh Eh, break it down now”

Music lyrics itself crosses my mind constantly. I love music, I don’t remember what spent time doing before I had my classic iPod. (who is still alive and well!)

I think Emma said this in a post, but there is definitely a theory if you don’t finish listening to a song it gets stuck in your head until you either 1. finish listening to it, 2. listen to the whole thing again, 3. tell someone it’s stuck in your head or alternatively 4. sing it aloud.

I seriously enjoy a good beat so I can mindlessly dance to it, wether this being in my free’s doing some work or just walking somewhere (I occasionally dance going into school, nobody sees me I hope.) I also would sing LOUDLY when art is going well, but just at home!

“Oh that sounds fun, let’s do that!”

I thank my creative brain for giving me good ideas for things. Well I usually think they are, I don’t tell anyone until I carry them out, then they can’t be changed, stolen or banned. I have these little epiphanies at least 3 a week, and then they roll in my mind until I actually take action. For example, get a penpal- someone I could conventionally write to every couple of months. It’s so old skool compared to writing a stupid email, which isn’t personal at all. And now after much searching, I’ve got a penpal! Yay, I get more post. Let’s hope she writes.

The only other thing ticking in my mind is to write more letters for celebrities, which gives me a better chance to own an autograph........and to get more post of course.

"ohhhhhhhhh the FUTURE oohhhh"

After a frightful battle with UCAs, my application was sent away..and so far I’ve got two conditionals and an interview. Which is great of course, but I still feel far too young to be planning to go to university, it’s just weird and a little bit scary at times. The future constantly winds up my brain, I miss being a child, there were no worries at all.

Note to self: do some revision!!!

Peace.

CHOOSE TWO!

Today’s blog is about the future. Again. I’ve wrote about this far too often, and I know I should just settle, but I feel by blogging about it allows my thoughts to organise themselves a little and settle me before I sleep.

I’ve made a discovery. As you can see in my henry made diagram, I have illustrated what is likely to happen for women especially, maybe for men too, but not so much, when they leave school, A-Levelers I mean..or possibly tech. Ah blah blah carry on.

Unless you are some kind of Superwomen, which I may add some are because some have managed it, it’s not physically possible for ladies to pursue all three options: University, Traveling for a few years and Marriage and having children.

Perhaps I’m being ridiculous, or unrealistic, but I don’t think I could do all three, even though I really really really want to.

My reasons...

o University- Well I do want to do art, you all know that well. If I don’t, I am likely to end up in a dead-end job and being miserable. I have to do what I enjoy, I’d rather have a poorly paid job doing what I love than being richer doing something I don’t like. Get it?

o Travel- I love the idea of traveling. And because I’m young and healthy, I should before it’s too late. I want to explore the world.

o Marriage and Children- I love the idea of just settling down and having my own house. I know it’s difficult, but isn’t everything? And I feel being a girl, I just want to do the whole housewife and mother thing. I do love children, even if it seems like I don’t.

The flawed reasons...

o University- Okay Claudia, go ahead and do your dream art degree. Dive right in to the government’s new university prices and be in debt for the next 30 years. Fail to get a mortgage for your flat (yes, flat, not house) and enjoy losing sleep of owing the bank thousands for them 4 years you will never get back.

o Travel- Again, it’s expensive, and possibly a complete waste of money if you don’t enjoy it? And I don’t really like planes.. and what if I get stabbed or something?

o Marriage and Children- Marriage is an awful thing too, it’s hard work and children are little brats and expensive too. And you need to have children before your 30, or you would be an old Mum. GROSS.

And why they are just not compatible....

o Okay, if I decide to go to University and travel, I would be drowning in money problems forever (I already am, and that’s just eBay) I would likely not get a job after university because our country is in a bad enough state, imagine it in a few years, and then I could be leaving it too late to have children... if I get married at all that is. Then I would be a spinster for the rest of my life and live in Spain running a cattery. (Oh no, that’s Emma, LOL)

o If I do University and Marriage, I could deal with that okay, but then I wouldn’t ever have the chance to travel. Unless my husband wants to travel, but then we would have no money after the wedding. damn. Andddd that would be me spending cash on a uni education and not using it.. Or using it and failing to be a good mother or juggling so much I just combust.

o Travel and Marriage

So no university then, I would be miserable probably doing nothing. And it’s getting harder to get good jobs if you don’t have some level of qualifications. So I would be poor but I may be content after seeing the world.

Am I still even making sense? I want to be a Rich Super BusinessWoman who can travel the world for a few years, get married, be a housewife and raise kids. Basically.

LOTTO TIME.

Note that I contradict myself constantly. I guess we will just have to wait and see what’s in store. I just have no patience! Bring it on!

Your Rich Super BusinessWoman who can travel the world for a few years, get married, be a housewife and raise kids,

Claudia :)

TECH??

People laughed at me for seeing the Ladyboys. But others said they want to go. I want to go again. I wonder has Uncle Gordon has got anymore free tickets.

So yeah, I think I’m sorted for what I’m doing after A-Levels. So the course that has been winking at me since 5th year is University of Ulster Belfast: Foundation Art. This works because, well, it’s basically just another year of doing a range of art, which totally suits me.

I would then go on and do the course of my dreams; Design and Visual Communication. Also UU of Belfast.

That’s been the plan until... 11am today. When it struck me, why pay thousands of pounds for a foundation art course? Not only is it impossible that I could get in, due to my average, non-improving art talent and these things known as the recession and the ever-rising Uni fees, WHY BOTHER? I think I would be foolish having to be another £5000 or whatever to pay off when I eventually get a job.

So, that’s right guys, Claudia, is going to tech for a year. JUST for one year. NEWRY!!

This has never even crossed my mind as an option, now it’s likely to happen if I’m not accepted anywhere else. My other choices on UCAS are courses I don’t really want to do: I’m just checking how likely it is that I’ll get in somewhere.

It’s a shame that the course couldn’t be in somewhere interesting like Belfast, but alas, I shall carry on. It’s only 3 days a week so I could get some money saved up by getting a part-time job. I know Rachel will be going too, so we could get lifts together if that suits.

This means another year in Annalong, that would be hell for some people but I couldn’t care less. It’ll be better in the long run. However, the thought of my friends going to uni without me makes me miserable!

The plan is to send my UCAS form away before Christmas. Then if I don’t get any responses back I’ll sign up for Newry. It’s a first come, first serve basis system there.

Eventually, I’ll be accepted (D.V) to the course of my dreams: Design and Visual Communication!!

What you need for this course:

Submission of a good portfolio of work that demonstrates your ability and enthusiasm for the course is required. This portfolio will be filled through the work I do in the Foundation course. Applicants will be interviewed. Why wouldn’t they want me?

A minimum of 240 UCAS Tariff Points to include grades CC (one of which should be in art and design or related subject). Yep.

Successful completion of an Art and Design Foundation Course. = NEWRY!

Three/four years.

About the course:
Visual communication design is the use of words and images in graphic design, advertising, websites, film and television, gaming and publishing. In the vast world of contemporary professional communications, designers are developing their discipline or inventing new roles for themselves.
The course seeks to develop practical and theoretical skills in students that enable them to address both given projects and their own work through the use of various media, not all of which are computer based.
Practical work is evidenced through a range of opportunities including typography, illustration, photography and motion for contexts such as web design, animation, print, screen and the urban environment. Central to all of these is an understanding of the processes and practices of Graphic Design. The DVC course is designed to provide an integrated learning experience which combines practical skills with the history and theory of visual communication. Applicants should be interested in words, pictures and ideas, willing to problem solve, be enthusiastic and adapt to change. etc.

Employment
Visual Communication graduates are successful in the design / advertising / multimedia / media / broadcasting / publishing and promotional industries. It is also possible to go into teaching.

- Claudia