2012: THE END

Helllooo - Happy New Year to all! What a strange year 2012 has been - definitely not my favourite to be honest. However the important thing is, did I keep to my resolutions? Here's the original post.

Diet

Aha, I did diet - (although I’m always dieting) - I managed to lose half a stone over the summer but alas, I still haven’t met my ideal goal. The challenge continues...

Photo Diary

I can proudly announce I completed my photo challenge! To those who are not sure what I’m talking about, last year I decided to take an Instagram photo and post it to Tumblr every day for 2012 to illustrate my day. Although it was sometimes an inconvenience and something I was very close to give up on, I’m pleased to have stuck it out to the end! Behold, here it is.

Don’t Complain

This one started out really well, surprisingly. I became really aware of others around me complaining and instead of joining in with them, it made me really thankful of how easy my life was!

However, after everything that happened during the summer, I began to feel down and kinda miserable - and after returning to university everyone’s negativity around me made me feel even worse. Even then, I didn’t complain - although everyone was driving me absolutely insane and everything in my life appeared to be going wrong. It certainly was testing times for me, and I didn’t handle it very well. 

Work Hard

Second semester of first year was great - I created a really cool Motion Graphics piece and got a brilliant grade in it, so I’m really proud of that. Overall, I was really proud of my first year marks so I guess that’s proof that I did work hard!

However I was shocked to see how much of a step up my course was from first year to second year. In first semester I was working so hard and for so long that I wasn’t enjoying what I was doing, it made me sad. I’m hoping this upcoming semester will be better!

Save Money

WOO I actually kept a book of my finances so that’s really impressive for me. I also opened another bank account to save money because to quote Claudia’s Blog 9/1/12 “If SM or YG decide to put a show on in London, I will use it then!” which THEY DID, as you all know, BIGBANG stopped there during their tour in December - success!

No Stressing

Believe it or not, since making this resolution I don’t stress as much as I used to. My whole attitude towards everything has changed. Although I wouldn’t call myself laid back, I definitely have chilled out much more more since 2011.

Get a Boyfriend

LOL - neither Rachel or myself successfully completed this resolution, maybe next year! (I did see T.O.P though...from a distance anyway!)

Much love,

- Claudia

ROLE MODELS

I have a wide selection of Inspirational People on my Facebook bio. (From what I’ve gathered, I’m also one of the few users who actually use this feature on Facebook)

I think ‘Role Model’ is quite a broad term and there would be people on my list which would be influential in some ways, but very bad role models in other ways, which you may think as you read this list.

Audrey Hepburn: to not be afraid to stand up for what you believe in.

2NE1: to be original, versatile and wear cool clothes.

Alexander Lee Eusebio: to give up something you know is wrong, despite the circumstances, for Christ.

Selena Gomez: to be beautiful inside and out, funny and not allow fame or success make you conceited.

Lady Gaga: to work hard and achieve your dreams.

Choi Seung Hyun: to remember although you may be rejected at first, work harder and try again.

Nicki Minaj: to not care about what anyone else thinks.

Josh Peck: to remind me that it doesn't matter what you look like, but health is important.

Jesus Christ: to remind me that I am well and truly loved: by dying on the cross, and through answered prayer, meeting my needs, listening when I feel broken and blessing me in a million wonderful ways to give me a wonderful and fulfilling life on earth.

Yay - I liked making that post.

Note: You have NO IDEA how CROSS I am that these images are low-resolution. I edited them for hours! I've no idea what happened. :( Apologies.

Bye bye.

HERE WE GO AGAIN...

And so begins my first week of Slimming World. Again.

I think this is the fourth time I've joined since 2010. And there have been numerous reasons why I've had to quit and start again.
I'd say I've lost about a stone and a half in total since the first time I've joined. I've managed to keep the stone off, but that half stone has crept on since Christmas.
I'm joining this time because of Diane's wedding - I'm one of the bridesmaids and I'm getting the dress fitted at the end of the summer, so at £4.95 a week, there's going to be no messing about.
A bit excited this time, I must admit. I feel confident. I know it works for me, all I need to do is stick to the plan. 

I have 18 weeks until I return to uni, that's 18 weeks to lose...hopefully a stone?
Wish me luck.


(LOL even I know this isn't going to happen.)

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS 2012

Hello, yes I’m a bit late posting, as usual, but I had an exam there so had to focus on it. Now it is completed and before I need to start work for the next one, here is my plans for 2012.

Oh yes, Happy New Year everyone! 

Diet

As usual, I need to diet. I am excited to inform you all that I have been asked to be a bridesmaid at a friend’s wedding! :D I’m very excited about that so will need to prepare and look my best for Summer 2013. I have a weight chart in my room and would love to be able to accomplish it, I find it unlikely though.

Photo Diary

My main priority this year is to take a photograph every day of 2012 to remind me of what I done on each day of the year. Here is the blog that I’m uploading my Instragram images to. It’s simple but fun.

Don’t Complain

I hear too many people from different parts of my life complain about every possible occurrence in their life. I don’t want to be like that and want to be positive in everything I do. I’ve learnt last year of how precious life really is and feel I need to make the most of everyday that I’m given on earth. A good start would be to stop complaining about the small things.

Work Hard

This time last year I would never have expected that I would be in University of Ulster Coleraine doing the course which was actually my 5th choice in my UCAs application. Now I totally adore Interactive Media Arts and wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I want to work extremely hard and achieve good grades because I’ve been so blessed to be chosen for this course.

Save money

I was given a fair sum of money for Christmas and I don’t want it to go to waste, unlike the money that I spent in first semester (which was colossal) - where DID it all go!? I want to keep it safe and use it for something important. Example: If SM or YG decide to put a show on in London, I will use it then!

No stressing

I’ve forbidden myself from stressing to the point of crying when exams loom. Unfortunately I’m one of those people who just can’t handle it, and eventually break down from the amount of stress and pressure. I’ve tried so many options but still crack. Alas, I’ve already broken this one... silly Claudia.

Look it's me - okay no it's not... but it could be. No I'm not like that. Really.

Get a boyfriend

This one has been added as a joke between Rachel and I! Of course, it’s unlikely I’ll meet T.O.P this year, but perhaps I’ll settle for someone else? 

(What hashtag is appropriate here? #Claudiaisfussy or #Claudiaiseasy?)

YEAR OF THE G-DRAGON.

- Claudia out!

WISHES TWO

And so the wishing shall continue!!

I wish for....a beautiful house.

I would love a big mansion with many pretty ornaments and paintings. Preferably a castle that isn’t too old. (because it would be more than likely unhygienic...and haunted)

I wish that...that no-one uninvited will see my blog.

This sounds awful, but I really really hope that none of my family members see le Claudblog. Not that there’s anything bad on it, it’s just nice to have somewhere private where I can chatter away and not worry what they would think.

Obviously I do know my friends and a few others do visit, but that’s different. They understand the weirdness and join in on the Blogging fun.

If I go traveling, die or move away for some unknown reason they could read it then. But I would feel conscious if they saw it now. They would ask loads of questions which would be extremely irritating. They do that on Facebook too: “Oh, I see you are commenting on her post there, what do you mean by that? Oh, who is Gareth Graham? (using you as an example Gareth, lol) Why is he asking you about art on your wall? Oh Claudia! I saw you online at 1am last night! Could you not sleep...” And so on.

I wish....to attend a Korean Pop concert.

After watching fancams from SM Town in Paris and gaping at SHINee saunter through Heathrow airport in London made me realise how I’m actually craving to see these guys live. Any of them, even if it’s a group or soloist I’m not as familiar with, I would love the opportunity. I wish for more K-Pop concerts to happen in the United Kingdom.

(Reading over this made me laugh..."craving?" it's like I want SHINee like I want a chocolate biscuit: MMM.)

I wish for...attending the final Harry Potter film showing at midnight.

I’ve been a hardcore HP fan for 9 years of my life. That’s exactly half of my existence so far. Please, may I see a Harry Potter premiere. This is my last chance.

I wish...to back to school for one more day.

I can’t believe this is one of my wishes. Although Upper 6th in K.H.S was one of the best years of my school life, any time I drive by the school or even see something that reminds me makes my heart feel sad. I didn’t realise how much I missed school. I feel a pang of regret that I maybe didn’t make the effort with the people of my year.

I yearn for just one more day of talking to them all, and catching up with the craic. Getting the cramped bus in. Internally singing along to my iPod when walking up the Prefect’s stairs every morning. Checking if Alison was in. Catching up on the craic with Noelle in registration. Celebrating if a class was cancelled. Spending an hour or two in the library in my seat. Bullying people to get yearbook information in. Prayer meeting with the gang on Monday’s. Complaining about ongoing English homework. Crying when we had to go to triple English on Wednesday’s. Shouting at Mary-Jane to do some work. Duty with Emma: our weekly gossip sessions. The most BORING lunchtimes ever. Pee-time with Amy and our hand-dryer dance. The dreadful bus rides home with those little monsters.

Oh please, just one more day. Give me just one more day of school life because I didn’t appreciate it when I could have.

I wish...I could dance.

Seriously, I don’t think I have any rhythm or beat in my body. Ah, how I wish I was agile and graceful without looking like an elephant wearing roller skates!

I wish...to become famous.

Yes, I would like to be famous. I don’t know what this could possibly be for, but I just think it would be nice for people to recognize me for some reason. I wouldn’t like to be exceptionally famous, where strangers start screaming and running like I’m the almighty Bieber or something, just a small collection of people recognizing me “Hey, aren’t you Claudia?”

However I don’t think my full name sounds very star like, I may need a stage name. Claudine Bean.

I wish...I could just eat and not put on any weight.

Life can be so unfair! I see girls eating these massive chocolate bars and they are like, size 6. If I ate like that I would have a full stone on in a week!

I wish for...an unlimited amount of pairs of glasses.

When I am older I would like to be one of those super classy women who have a pair of glasses for every outfit they wear. May I add here that I would also like an unlimited amount of contact lenses too, because sometimes there are clothes that simply don’t suit spectacles.

I wish...to grow old beautifully and glamorously.

Face it. All us ladies want to look like Jane Fonda when we eventually reach 73.

Okay I'm done now.

- Claudia

DON'T STOP THE RAIN!

Updates with pictures:

TokyoFashion.com

Most of my evenings have been spent on a website called Tokyo Fashion. This site updates regularly with photographs of the most original and bizarre fashion clothing shown in different areas of Japan. I’m fascinated with the street photos of Harajuku especially. I would spend hours analysing these outfits. It’s incredible that some people are able to devote themselves to customising themselves in such a way. Few are gorgeous, some are pretty rotten. It is inspiring though.

Papa Rain

Oh RAIN. The other night I downloaded (legally of course) all of his CDs: Rain’s World, Rainism, Back to the Basic...etc. Oh I do adore!! What a perfect man! His music is so gorgeous, especially Move On, Love Song and With U. I am truly in love!

Just remembered, so was Megan Fox. LOL. We have so much in common.

Why does he bother wearing clothes...I mean shirts.

Free Time
I still cannot get my head around all the free time I now have since my exams finished last Monday. It hasn’t properly kicked in that I actually will have nothing to do for four months and that I have finished high school education forever. It’s strange, I have so much on my To-Do list but it hasn’t been started yet. I thought I’d dive straight into it, I’m afraid I will become lazy and not do anything at all. On another note, I booked my accommodation for next year, and according to my loan, I will only be living on £2.50 a week. Dreadful!! I suppose I should be getting a job?

Weight

I’ve set myself an ultimate goal of losing 1 stone, 7lbs. I also worked out to obtain this goal by September I need to lose 1.5lbs in Slimming World per week. That’s not going to happen, but I shall try and shall report on my progress. (Because, you know, it’s such an interesting thing to blog about.)

Tumblr

Shhh, I know I’m not allowed to mention Tumblr, but I’m going to anyway. I do have a Tumblr page, linked here. It’s been incredibly addictive ever since I’ve finished studying. Please follow me if you use it too, and I will certainly follow you all back.

Park Bom: (yes I love celebrities)

Oh beautiful lady! Yes, I do believe my female K-Pop bias at the moment is Park Bom from 2NE1. Move over CL, you will have to share your place with this gorgeous girl! Seriously, don’t understand why I didn’t like Bom before: honestly I thought she was very boring compared to the other three. HOWEVER ever since I’ve seen her new music video ‘Don’t Cry’ I’ve fallen for her.

Y’know a while ago I posted about that romantic ‘sweet sharing’ scene in IRIS which I got mixed responses from? I had a similar emotional breakdown when I watched this M.V!! I don’t know what did it, perhaps the cool guy in it, I don’t know... (unable to explain what on earth I am talking about) Anyway, I think the point is, he dies..even though they were engaged..and their hug *cries* I love them. Shut up Claudia, go to bed.

What am I saying? I never need to sleep again.

Or remove nail polish for school on Monday mornings. Woohoo!

WANTED

I think being away from friends and staying at home for a few days really does something to my brain. I need to get out places so I don’t go mad: waking early, dancing insanely on the trampoline, single-handedly making the school yearbook and most importantly: living online until 3am (This is being done as I type this).

Sure, I love being off for Easter, a few days away from it all is great. ‘Cept I’m stuck studying and being forbidden to go out or do anything fun or else I will fail everything. School is good to just get away from stupid home tasks like ironing and emptying the dishwasher.

I think I may die next year when I have no school to go to. Who will I talk to when everyone is galavanting away to uni, making new friends and living in BELFAST while I crack up in Newry tech doing art!?

As Harry would say, “Hogwarts is my home!” Well except K.H.S is definitely not my home, it doesn't have wi-fi. But I’m pretty sure I’m going to miss it a lot.

Screw you all accepting that you are going to leave it and not come back, all those stupid speeches about “Yes! I am prepared to move on with my head held high!! I will not look back to the days as a secondary school student!” YOU all have futures ahead of you in pretty places like Queens doing exactly what you planned out these past months.

Frig knows what I’m doing. University of Ulster crushed my dreams!

Screw Uni. Screw y’all. I’m going to be better than everyone! I shall be successful, rich and as Block B would say “Wanna be famous, you wanna be GORGEOUS!” I shall travel the world and become an icon. I will star in films with Johnny Depp and adopt beautiful babies like Angelina Jolie. I will become an international blogging superstar, with over 3 million views per minute. I will learn to dance. And most importantly, I will not get my driving test, but use the money I need for lessons, pre-test and test to spend on a chauffeur who can take me to where-ever I need to go. Good plan!

However, I’m away off on a tangent today. This is not the focus topic in today’s post. (See, I told you I have gone crazy.) All I wanted to blog about was things that were floating around in mind recently! While I was mindlessly studying or doing chores or talking/singing to myself.

The Wanted

What’s this? Claudia is listening to a group that sing in English? What has happened? To be honest, I don’t know. It might just be a phase. Or maybe it’s the extremely delicious member, Siva Kaneswaran...who knows. No actually, I really like their music at the moment.

Yoochun

This silly boy has taken over my desktop/head/life. I have a feeling I must have dreamt about him and subconsciously have fallen for him. Get out of here!

France

I blogged about this a while ago, but SM Town (SM Entertainment, Korea’s biggest record company) is touring in France. I have convinced myself that I am going, despite not being allowed and Emma being unable to because of her exams. Fingers crossed it will be London next year.

Teen Top/Dalmatian

My two new favourite K-Pop groups. Inati from Dalmatian is gorg but turns out he is 30. He doesn’t look 30 AT ALL. And I love wee Niel from Teen Top, he would melt your heart! (Yes, he’s just a child.)

Weight

I am determined to lose weight. Slimming World is going well and earlier I was comparing K-Pop guys’ weights to mine. Seriously, they are SO thin! Look at my statistics! I think my results are quite inaccurate, because there are some that should be much heavier/lighter than others. (Click on the link of their name to see what they look like and guess their weight in stone and lbs, then highlight the area and see what it actually is.) It’s crazy! They must be famished!

Yoochun from DBSK:

9 stone 4lbs.

T.O.P from Big Bang:

10 stone 2lbs. Pure man lah.

Jaejoong from DBSK:

9 stone 9lbs.

Changmin from DBSK:

9 stone 6lbs.

Shindong from Suju:

14 stone

Junsu from DBSK:

9 stone 9lbs. He has slightly wider shoulders..but he couldn't be the same as Jaejoong!!

U-Know from DBSK:

10 stone 3lbs.

Kangin from Suju:

11 stone

G Dragon from Big Bang:

9 stone

Taeyang from Big Bang:

8 stone 8lbs. (Lighter than G-Dragon, really?? With muscle.. I don't understand.)

Daesung from Big Bang:

9 stone 9lbs.

Taemin from SHINee:

7 stone. OMG, feed him now. He is still a baby, who needs to grow. :O

It took me longer finding them pictures for the hyperlinks than making the rest of this post. It's very late.

Goodnight.

STRESS

Things I currently LOVE:

Korean music; Shinee, F.T Island and Super Junior. My Kyochon Super Junior 2010 calendar. sleep; when I get it. Full House. ACT. Losing weight. Eunhyuk. iMovie. Beans on toast.

Things I MUST DO:

Learn Korean. English coursework. Organise the next Detective Outing. 2 x ICT Coursework.

Things I would LIKE to DO:

have money. get a tredmill. watch g.i joe again. have another FunFriday. go to Seoul. learn Korean. have more clothes. more art!!

UPDATES

HELLO

I haven't blogged for a while. I've actually forgotten about it because I've been so so busy.

Updates...

TUESDAY: I went to Slimming World, which I had wrote about in my last entry. My diet is going really well. Oh! I also watched GLEE for the first time. I'm still not a fan yet. I don't see what's all the fuss about.

WEDNESDAY: I borrowed a Vibroplate from one of my Mum's friends. All you do is stand on it and it basically shakes your fat about. It helps you to lose weight the lazy way.

THURSDAY: I got my R.E results. I done really badly and was quite annoyed. Only got 50% in my exam. Aw well. It's only mocks. Jared didn't do so great either. Mum wasn't impressed.

FRIDAY: I went on an English trip after school to Belfast til late. Jordan, Kerri, Emma, Laura, Mary Jane and I went to Blue Pizza Co for our tea. (diet ruined) Then we went to the Lyric Theatre (which is across from Queen's University) and saw the worst play in the world. It was called The Caretaker by Harold Pinter. Lethal.

SATURDAY: I cleaned all day. ALL DAY. My container has never looked so good. I woke up at 10am and cleaned constantly til 6pm. I was exhausted. That night I went to Rachel's 17th Birthday party and we just caught up on the craic and watched "Legally Blonde." Seen it about a dozen times, but still really funny.

TODAY: Church as usual. Then after Sunday Dins I went out driving round the yard in Mar's car. It was awful. I HATE DRIVING.

Blast this entry. Time for a new one.

TRAP!

Hello!

Want to hear something amusing? I was at Slimming World this morning!

It was so busy, packed with all these women and their new born children. Even a few men too.

To be honest, I didn't really enjoy it. Now I'm trapped in this diet filled with SYNS, free foods and 'superfoods." I got a handful of books and offers and stuff. But sure, I'll give it a go. It's part of my many new years resolutions. People were declaring they lost half a stone in a week, so wish me luck!

My immense number of exams are now OVER. R.E on Friday past was deadly, but English Literature yesterday was grand. I have two days off school, today and tomorrow. Awesome.

UPDATE

I took a day off school today to revise. I never do that. It's weird.

I haven't started yet.

But I have started to IRON! I hate it.

Okay, here is how the New Year's Resolutions are going:

Be crazy and adventurous:-

• Go out in the weekend
• Try new food- Mum gave me lamb chop for dinner yesterday and I was near sick.
• Wear different clothes
• Go different places
• Listen to range of music-Started to listen to more K-Pop, love it!
• Learn new language-Learning Korean.
• Watch movies- I have Transformers to watch.
• Plan events and carry them out.- Currently planning LONDON. My Birthday party too, less than a month.

Meet new people- hmm, I don't know if I have done this one yet or not.

Become closer to God- I should really have more quiet time.

Learn to drive- STILL not behind the wheel. But I sent my provisional away yesterday!

Save money- I put money into my bank account there on Tuesday. Desperately trying to save for London at Easter.

Become nicer to people- Temper? Okay I guess.. but I have been moody round the house, possibly exam stress. And I don't swear as much, that's good. I think I have been more polite, but I forgot about this resolution so these are all guesses.

Lose Weight- die die die die die die die

Exercise- woo! I was at the Gym on Tuesday evening and I think I'm going again tonight. I wonder will the fit Chinese man be there...

Become more creative- fail fail fail!! I haven't done any "fun" art yet, just school stuff. Actually quite proud of my school stuff though...

Volunteer- No, still lazy and useless as ever.

Pass exams- Well this isn't going to happen if I don't start revising!!!

WILLPOWER

WILLPOWER

WILLPOWER

Emma and I saw Kerri dance to "It's You" last night. It was amazing. I scorn my foolish younger self for refusing to go to ballet when Mother asked me to.

SUNSCREEN

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99...

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance. even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you

knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.

Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

11 Things I would secretly love to happen...

1. Lose like 2 stone in weight, and cheekbones magically appearing on my face.

2. Accidentally bump into Joe Jonas and get my photo taken with him, which I can then set as my profile pic on Facebook.

3. To win the lotto.

4. Go on a trip with Kerri and Emma to Seoul, understanding the culture and language.

5. Own a Volkswagen Camper Van, one of them really cool retro ones.

6. To become friends with some Asian guys, or even date one, and keep it a secret. ;)

7. To meet Super Junior.

8. Marry a really rich, handsome man who would love me to pieces. (shallow? yes? no?)

9. To be recognised on the street from being known online or somewhere cool.

10. To be fluent in Korean. Something I can't ever see happening. =/

11. Be able to sing or dance beautifully.

12. Become cool, likable and have a charm.

Anybody able to grant me any of my wishes?

Writing this list has suddenly made me feel a lot better since my last post. Hurrah!

GOODNIGHT.

FLAWS

Hello,

Okay, I don't think I'm normal. Well, I know I'm not. But I think my interests in Asians are getting a bit out of hand. I just watched a pile of Super Junior videos, one including a drama of them pretending to fancy each other. It was, I must admit, pretty hot. ASHAMED. I showed it to Naomi and Kerri for a second opinion, but they were busy and couldn't watch it. I need to sort my life out badly.

Uncle Gordon is going home to Belfast tomorrow, which basically marks the end of Christmas in my family. The decorations will be taken down, and that means I have to start art coursework, revision and a diet on Tuesday. Tomorrow we leave him home, but drop into Victoria Square for sale shopping first. It's one of my favourite days of the year, because I have a tonne of money to spend which I received as Christmas presents. (This money should be saved for London with school at Easter, but I don't know what is actually going to happen to it!)

I also need to sort out this blog, It seems to be all me me me, I I I...not really sure how to make it more interesting. I feel at the moment I am useless at everything. I used to think I had a knack for English, but I don't like it as much in school. For art, It's terrible! Even Mum said when she was looking through my folder it wasn't as good as usual. I just assumed I would get better, but it is going nowhere. I always thought I would get a job in I.C.T, now I don't even have that big of an interest in that either. I can't lose weight. I can't sing or dance. I can't be bothered to socialise anymore. I don't go out at the weekend because there is nowhere to go. Boys hate me. I'm loud and aggressive. I'm covered in spots and have dry skin which doesn't go away. I have an obsessive personality. I can't talk right, recently every sentence I speak has bad grammar in it. (is it strange to be self conscious about that?) It's very obvious to people when I dislike them. My teeth are discoloured. I hate wearing glasses and I know fine rightly I'm wrecking my eyes wearing lenses every day.

blahhhhhhahewrubclewnlewfnweklrfjnkwefnwkfjnwefkjbwefkjboewooh.

Now that's out of my system, I should probably sleep.