Presents.
Today I am Santa Claudz. It is not Christmas. I am not rich or have excess to unlimited wealth. But I shall grant gifts to all who have been fortunate to be in my presence this past few years. I’m feeling generous so I will give presents to my friends who I may not see as often now that we have left school so they can enjoy for their rest of their existence.
Emma:
Today, Emma Thelma Louise Hanna, you have been given the gift of a massive castle where you can live happily with all your medieval stuff you are interested in. Knights, horses, wizards..merlin.. etc. Yes, since you’ve been my friend longest you get the biggest present!
I do not understand all this medieval nonsense so I will give you the opportunity for you to refurbish this grand castle in any way you wish. You do not have to work, because you have worked enough for 4 A-Levels which accounts for enough work for the rest of your life. You don’t have to do anything at all, and that suits you. There is a horse and carriage which Caspian drives about the large pollen-free land around your castle to prevent hay fever. You have a large library stored with your published fanfiction and every book you have ever read.
You also have slaves: one from each country of the world: which you can speak to in their own language. In the dungeon there are many Korean boys that are trapped there because that’s what you keep them after capturing them during hunting. Occasionally you throw some leftover rice down there to ‘keep them going’ but there isn’t really any need for feeding them or holding them under capture either! But you do because they are so pretty. And sometimes they teach you dance.
Lastly, you get one more present: a big grade C. You’ve never had a C before so now this has tainted the perfect A’s you have received. (C is for CLAUDIA. So that makes it good.)
(Sorry that was much longer than I thought it would be... got carried away when I got into the dungeon bit.)
Amy
Amy Grace, I will give you the gift of nothing other than, a car! It doesn’t seem fair that you work so hard and you are not rewarded! In this car is a big Scottish man with a beard and an accent. You’ve always said you wanted one of them. (Sorry I’ve got the K-Pop Cd jammed in the player...with glue.) I’ve also went to the trouble of moving Dundee to the coast of Annalong. Now you don’t have to travel too far but you will still be in Dundee, except just not in Scotland!
May-Jay
Lady MaryJazzleyJane, today you receive the gift of usefulness. Throughout all my years knowing you, I’ve never seen you do anything worthwhile. Well, apart for your skills in the use of graphic design. I shall give you a beautiful solid gold graphics tablet which you must use everyday, or it will disappear in a puff of smoke and you won’t get it back again.
You also do not have a car of your own, so I will buy you this straight from Japan. I can imagine you driving round this already. You would look so cool. Inside this car is nobody else but Adam Young!! Cos you like that guy.
I saw during the art exam your Skull Candy earphones didn’t really fit you right, so I’ll get you these to match your car!
Elizabeth
Elizabeth, today you receive the gift of a beautiful white cloak! This cloak has a hood and little holes for ey...wait..you already have one of these? Why...?
Naomi
Naomi dearest, I understand you are a bit uptight about next year and what you are going to be doing. Today I give you the present of not being worrisome. I can see you will do better than all our friend group put together: better than Kerri in Law, better than James in mirotics or whatever it is... Yes you will! I give you a ticket for a trip around the world which would be so much more fun than university. You can meet Kellen Lutz and lots more hunky men. I will also give you a recycling center that only recycle Ribena, Barney and Plein Sud drink cartons and you can rip away at the cardboard too. You’ll have a blast!
Kerri
Kurry, today I grant that the act of polygamy is now legal in Northern Ireland. You are scheduled to play Adrianna’s half sister in next month’s 90210. I also have got in contact with Derren Brown who has predicted this week’s lotto numbers so you should be safe with that one too. When your winnings are confirmed, I will call Camelot to send your winnings in cash in several Louis Vuitton suitcases. Lastly, I will fly big smoker face Gaspard over and you can play to him with your big ass golden cello.
James
Sir James, yes, that’s right, I just called up the Queen to knight you. Congratulations Sir James Mooney! You wonder why you are knighted? Why it’s because of your globally famous retail store, Half Moon! Your invention of ‘Moon’ sizes has revolutionised the fashion world completely and the whole world is going hay-wire for this new style (including Glee characters Kurt, Mike Chang and Blain mmmm Blaine) All thanks to me! I told you the Dump would be the perfect place to set up a business, and you didn’t believe me! Plus, hiring out Gaga to model was a gold idea!
Jordan
Jordon, today you receive the gift Mothman visiting for tea! Hey, don’t be insulted, that’s like the best gift ever. Lol clearly I started this post with great ideas for some people and by the end I had ran out of ideas. Sowee....Oh: better idea. Jordan, comment exactly what you want me to do for my next post in the comment box and I’ll write all about it. Need to keep blogging interesting. Anything at all! I accept the challenge. Even if it’s something gay that I don’t like, maths or whatever.
(Same goes to Elizabeth, she didn’t even get a gift. Ya’big racist.)
Can't wait for tomorrow night!!!!
- Love Claudia x



























