5. A STRANGER

Reader: This is the most wacky, crazy, disastrous thing I have ever written about. Please..maybe just skip it.

Dear Christopher the McDonalds Guy,

Hi, it’s your stalker. I’m sorry, I can’t think of any strangers that I want to write to but you popped into my head at the time so I thought it would be fun.

So yeah, hey, My name is Claudia. I’ve seen you three times before in the McDonalds restaurant in Victoria Square, Belfast. I have long brown hair with a full fringe and brown eyes. Do you remember me? I live about an hour’s drive away from where you work. You may.... you know I’ve been three times before. It’s a coincidence really that you keep on working the shifts that I am there at. I don’t always eat McDonalds when I go to Belfast, incase you were thinking I’m an unhealthy slob (Trust me, I go to Slimming World, I try not to be) but it’s just convenient.

The first time I saw you I thought I might have died. I didn’t even want to go to McDonalds but, I’m glad I did. It was a lust overload basically. I couldn’t believe my luck. Silky black hair, small, thin eyes, tanned skin, overwhelming cuteness: there was an ASIAN working at the till! So, as my predator-minded self, I placed myself at a close table for a good view as I enjoyed my cheeseburger and fries. Mum knew why I chose the seat, obviously, but it was a fun half hour. I knew you saw me though, you kept glancing over. I hope I brightened your day.

Second time I was there was a month later. (I checked my diary) I walked in, looking to see if you were working, and sure enough! I don’t think you saw me though. It was very busy.

Third time was yesterday. Tuesday 13th July. I was in with my Mum and brother meeting up with my Uncle Gordon in town. You were there again. I had realised you usually work over lunch. It was impossible to get a seat and I had lots of shopping in my hands as Mum ordered and Jared got the napkins. So I was standing like a loser near the till. You had no-one at your till and you smiled at me. Of course I nearly died, but I was too shy to smile back properly. I’m sorry if I looked like I was in a fluster. I felt like an idiot. I did attempt to smile, but it was after I had broke eye contact. FOOL.

So yeah, I’m sorry Christopher that I’m such a loser. And I’m sorry that you are just so damn cute that I’m unable to stop staring at you. I hope I find out nothing more about you or you might become flawed, and that would be unbearable.

If we ever meet again,

- Claudia

MY BEAUTIFUL

So yeah, summer has begun!

After reading my last post, I was mad at being such a loser, so I decided to do as much as possible to force myself to get better. A week later and I’m exhausted and still not recovered from my sickness. It’s worse than I thought.

I compelled myself to go to Belfast with Kerri and Emma on Monday, and even though it was a great day, I paid the consequences. We saw ‘Prince of Persia’ and we all agreed Jake Gyllenhaal was very attractive. The day after that I had to miss my injection and helped out at a coffee morning in school. Then on Wednesday I had a driving lesson and went into school again to see the final assembly and collect art.

On Thursday I went to Emma’s for a sleepover (yeah, I was wrecked) but it was great craic: we attempted to have a movie marathon but only watched 3 films. It’s really handy that Emma can drive now. She’s like my taxi.

So now it’s Saturday and I just moped about the house, learning car theory and stuffing my face. I’ve also been in an indescribable angry mood. Bite me.

Blah blah how uninteresting.

P.S, that’s T.O.P from Big Bang.

I think I’ll make another post.

SELF-ANALYSING...

Ever felt really annoyed at something insignificant?

I dunno, I think that’s happened to me an awful lot recently. I can’t help it, but I feel annoyed, angry and just confused!

Sometimes I wish things were back the way they used to be, back when we were young and anything we said to each other wasn’t serious or horrible. But why must they be like this? I don’t understand why we must always try and beat each other at this stupid little game. Sure, it’s partly our fault too. It was very satisfying to “get revenge.” But now I just feel a bit hurt.

Seriously, sometimes I can’t wait to leave school: to feel the independence of being grown-up and not look back at the ignorant, Sectarian area I live in. That would be the compulsive, infuriated attitude on numerous occasions I feel. From time to time I feel trapped in the little area of Mourne, with the egotistical and arrogant individuals I am surrounded with. It’s like I don’t even fit in. It doesn’t help that it’s also quite a boring place to live; I’ve never appreciated the mountains or the sea. I don’t drink, in other words, get ‘loaded’ at the weekend (yes, they take drink to the absolute limit here) So what is there to do?

In spite of that, even though the area has it’s negative points, there are some things I do actually like about it. I have a small collection of friends that make me laugh. I go to a good school. I live in a great, big house that you could never own in a city. I l have a loving family. etc. So I am able to look at both views of where I live.

Mum told me to not sneer your hometown: because if you have nothing else left, there’s always a place you can return to that will embrace you with open arms. Which is very true I guess.

I am a big softy though. Past my hardened appearance, I am rather compassionate. I think I’ve become softer in the past few years.

I am more wary of hurting others’ feelings and I’m bothered of what people think of me. This has resulted me in being less confident, especially in class or with a group of people. Also, I think it’s resulted in having a different, smaller group of friends. I miss my other friends sometimes. I miss their different craic and miss not being invited to places with them. It’s my own fault deserting them back in fourth year, now they don’t want me. Face the facts Claud.

I worry about exams, university, marriage, children etc. all the time. I’m scared of something not turning out right. Even though I know God will pull me through it, it’s so daunting that all these decisions will have to eventually be made by an older me.

Sigh. This self analysing is boring me now. (probably boring everyone else too)

Well, today I’ve been sick since 5am. I feel awful and haven’t ate. And I’m missing the England match. (According to Facebook they aren’t doing so great anywayz)

South Korea went out yesterday, so my interest in football has gone way down.

Blah. *too tired to care about blogging now*

-Claudia

OVER.

Well that’s it.

My exams are over.
Ended this morning with English Literature.

I would be all “WOOP exams over, summer begins!!” etc.


But really, I do not care less.

Yeah, it’s great being stress free over the three exams I did have, but now I have very little to do. I thrive on being constantly productive throughout the day, (flip that sounds weird) so now it’s going to take some adjusting until I manage to slow everything I do over the long, hot probably cold, summer days.
I will update with my progress soon.

Tonight, I’m going to the kids’ school play. They are the ones I child-mind randomly throughout the year. They are well cool, they call me Santa Claudz. Haha. The school are doing Mary Poppins. Last time they put on a play Jared was in it, and the time before I was. *shudder* So it should be alright.

Oh yeah, English earlier. Well it was grand I suppose. No, no it wasn’t. I had to compare and contrast my two least favourite poems and for the Great Gatsby question I recall writing about Twilight. So mmhmm, it was bad. :(
Sure we’ll see how it goes on result day, I wonder when we get our results? We weren’t given a date.

sexy beast.

I’ve turned into a more masculine Claudia (also sounds very weird, maybe doesn’t make sense) and have started to watch the World Cup! I like seeing what’s all the fuss about instead of sitting in the corner giving off about it. I’ve already done this with Big Brother a few years ago (hooked for one series, never watched it again), Scrubs, Desperate Housewives, 90210, Ugly Betty, Eurovision (love it!), and Glee. Some of these trial episodes turned out a disaster but others I went crazy over.

But anywho, I never thought I’d say it: but I enjoy the football! The rest of my family hates it, but it’s actually really good when you get into it. It’s quite satisfying roaring ridiculously at a television screen. And I’d never thought I’d say THIS, but footballers are rather attractive! I’m supporting England and South Korea. Woohoo!

But worry not, after this is over, I won’t watch football until the next World Cup.

- Claudia

RORY

I missed meeting him today. CLAUDIA YOU FOOL.