TEXTS

This morning I started scrolling through my texts from Jordan. I decided immediately that they needed to be written down because they are hilarious and I would be very annoyed if they got lost or deleted. They bring back many fun memories so obviously the best place to put them would be on my blog. So please don’t be freaked out because I find them very comforting to read and would like to read them again in the future.

Note, Jordan’s spelling is atrocious. So I typed it out the way she did in the text.

These texts start from late 2009.

New Moon

“New moon next week?....Yea, ill brave ur crazy taylor obsession....akakaka. The general boy obsession going on, but No one will be obsesed with robert patinson.”

The day we wrapped up the boys’ football (because they kept playing with it in the Lecture theatre)

“Ahh kerri told john what we did, and he says that balls worth £25. And theyre gna be angry”

On Glee

“Hahaha. I noticed the asian boy and his dancing and thought of u”

“Im gonna regret this so much, but mike chang is kinda cute”

“Kurt talked about the American Dream! Ewww”

“In lisburn and I just saw a boy who looked like mike chang!”

“Im only just watching glee, and lol at asian camp?!”

Noting my Asian-loving days:

“Why oh why am I watching the asian music awards???”

“We were just in newry and saw like 3 asian guys. Are super junior on tour here?!”

“Im watching south korea play football. They all look identical claudia!”

“I’m in Lisburn and there’s an adorable asian child in the que. I thought of you. lol.”

Joel

Jordan: Lol I walk into my halls at uni and looked in the kitchen and the first thing i saw was an asian boy! Thought of u immediately.

Me: LOL LUCKY YOU. is he in your halls?

Jordan: Yes! He’s from Singapore and really nice.

Me: Awesome what’s his name?

Jordan: Joel but not pronounced like that. He’s doing medicine and he’s also kind of cute.

On Twitter and The Great Gatsby

Jordan: “Is dr tj eckleburg following u on twitter 2?!”

Me: “turns out it’s Matthew Quinn!!”

On Moths

“Ahh there was just a massive moth at my window! Not big enough 2 be wearing a suit but still pretty big”

“Hey mothmath (mothmath??) just visited me, he says hes heading out to your house now.”

On Driving

“Claudia I had a dream last night that you passed your driving test! Yay. But u told me that you’d done it on the internet, that sounds a bit illegal. Ha.”

Rocket Power

Me: Rocket Power!! With Otto, Reymundo, Tito and silly other names!

Jordan: Lol. Good job on finding that claudbag!

On Clothes

Let me explain, in late August Jordan and I went shopping. Extreme shopping. I picked out lots of new clothes for her to wear to uni. It certainly was a successful day because we bought 2 blouses, 2 jumpers, DKNY jeans, 2 t-shirts and later a new jacket and trainers.

Jordan: I can’t decide what to wear claudia!!”

Me: Hahaha you sound like me - cos you have new clothes to choose from?

Jordan: Yes. lol. And I’m not sure what matches what...”

Me: What are you choosing from?

Jordan: Think I’m going to wear the blue stripy top from river island. But what goes with that? I need another layer

Me: Isn’t that the one I ranted that you needed an orange cardigan...lol

Texts which few will understand:

“Lol. U gotta be adventurous claudia. Dishy steven!”

“AHHH I was just uploading pictures on facebook and I accidently put the happy 10th birthday Jimmy one up!! I think I got it removed b4 it was seen tho.”

“Aww i miss the days when weekends ment futurecup lol.”

“Im at fusin AND CASPER IS HERE!”

“Lol! It’s because of their poorly designed menus.”

“Open your gates Claudbag.”

Me: Jared went into the container and first thing he saw was TAMPON MAN!! :O

Jordan: LOL!!

Facebook Hack and other randoms

One day at Emma’s house we all hacked Jordan’s Facebook after she accidentally told us her password was the same for everything. 

Jordan: I’m a muslim, inbred, superjunior loving, hemaphrodite, in a complicated relationship and it’s my birthday. Also why is there a swearword in there, thats just unnecessary!

Me: My only input in this hack was suju! What swearword??

Jordan: It says ‘religious views - muslim shite.’ Or is that like a type of muslim?

Jordan: Do yous want me to bring some ice cream?

Me: Yes sexy bbz. When you get here I can’t wait to tickle your bum. 

“Hey Sexy”  (Nice one James)

“Coming now my girlfriend”

Other amazing texts:

“U know what I say? OFF WITH THE HEAD”

“Im looking ur memories on bebo”

“I just caught myself singing along 2 hollys camprock cd. SINGING TO JOE JONAS. What have i become”

“Is Emma in the country?”

“Kk. Party animals!”

“Thanks for inviting me. I had great fun. Ive had sex bomb in my head all day.”

“Yearbook is fabulous claudia!”

“Big sexy laurence is on tv. I started to laugh thinking of your mother. There’s also an asian man who looks like a woman on the show. It’s like your family made it.”

“Book beans. Was just wondering.”

“Make sure yous miss my presense.”

Don’t worry Jordan, we do! We all miss you like crazy! ♥

- Claudia x

OTHER MEME BLAH

Emma

Three things I want to say to three different people:

Person 1

Hi, we have similar glasses and I think you’re cute but possibly gay. Don’t care, you look like Joe Jonas and I like that and we should at least have a photo together so I can set it as my Facebook profile pic and I will feel extremely awesome about it. Oh, also, you’re foreign. Call me: I AM INTERESTED. (OJ)

Person 2

Gurl. How can I write you a letter as good as the one you sent me? You are a rascal. Alas! You are also GONE! I am so very sad! We better keep in contact or I’ll get Assassin Vick on your tail. (But perhaps that’s a good thing?!) 

Person 3

Jordan, I miss you and there’s some things I want to tell you. 

• There’s also a cute Asian at our CU! We have one each.
• I have a photo of the two of us, it’s a bit ripped because it was with you at the time but now it’s in a frame down at uni with me. It’s really nice, I love it.
• Your family read your blog!! I know you would have freaked out about that. It’s very comforting though for us.
• Guess who I met last week, and it’s the same person who was there on Wednesday too...We all went CRAZY!
• Our friendship group has been rekindled!!
• One Direction tickets went on sale last week, we totally could have went to that. I remember you said you liked them that day we went to Belfast together. 
• You’re name was all over Facebook, yes we were all very sad :( But some people said things and I knew you would have laughed. Or maybe would get angry, haha.
• One of my recommended people to follow on Twitter was Zoosk, hahaha. 'sexbag'
• You’re mum found a wee note in your room, yes.. that note! Amy and I lol’d.
• 3 words: Hot steamy men.
• Did you ever hear the story of Mrs Matthews and Naomi in the school library? CLOL.
• I miss talking to you on Twitter.
• I've had 7 haircuts this year so far. I was keeping document of it so I could tell you at the end of the year. (Because of our conversation from like last January in the container.)
• Were you always pretty? Why didn’t I ever tell you that?
• NANCY!!! MOTHMAN!!
• I think of you every time I make toast.

I know you’re having a fantastic time, and in due time, we shall meet again,

Claudia x

5 Things I like about myself and 5 things I dislike:

• Fairly sociable.
• A random selection of laughs.
• That my hair curls naturally when I wash it and looks pretty decent.
• I can laugh at my silliness.
• My ability to adapt easily.

• Discoloured teeth.
• A non-existent metabolism.
• A sharp tongue and bad temper.
• Occasional bad language.
• My vacant expression which people often interpret as anger or sadness. 

Three things I want right now:

1. Big Bang to win their EMA. Ho ho ho.

2. A haircut.

...Weird. I don’t actually want anything else.

Mary-Jane

One of my insecurities:

Being extremely awkward with some people: when I don’t know what to say, then when I try to speak my words get all tongue-twisted. I get very paranoid about that.

What turns me on:

Long legs.

Guys in suits.

Strong jawlines.

Guys who smell good.

Nice teeth.

Deep voice.

Dark eyes.

Long, dark hair.

Glasses.

I can imagine May-Jay’s response to this: “So... basically.... most men.”

Who I wish I could be:

Funny, I don’t wish to be anyone different. I assume I will mature as I get older but I quite like myself the way I am. My only request is that my faith will grow, which can be difficult in university life.

- Claudia

ANY QUESTIONS?

So today Kerri began a new trend spam on our Twitter accounts. The question game. Each user who plays are given the opportunity to ask another ANY question at all to them. With only one veto, you must answer these questions honestly and willingly.

See, I’m meant to post these answers to my Twitter account - but that’s far too messy and disorganised for my liking. And I can write longer answers here. So here they are!!

Naomi: What was your first impression of me? (I was always curious of this)

Heya Naomi. To be honest, not much of an impression was made.. no offense! Just you were very quiet and I thought you were very pretty. And since I was going through an emo phase I really liked your clothes so therefore visited Fresh Garbage, which you recommended to me in 4th year, but the shop scared me because I thought it sold drugs.

Mary-Jane: Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

Mary-Jane, I honestly don’t know at the moment. Career wise anyway. I don’t even know what I’ll be doing in 10 months, never mind 10 years. We’ll see what happens with uni and all.

Other than that, I’ll be 28 (GROSS) so I hope I’ll be married with at least one child living comfortably with a good job, or else just being a housewife with a part-time job. In the next ten years I hope I will have travelled to Asia, lose more weight and have my teeth whitened...short term goals, haha.

Hazel: Micky Yoochun or T.O.P?!

OH HAZEL WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME :(

Ahhhhhh that’s like the worst question ever, gurrl. At the minute, they are completely equal. I love both equally as my biases. :D

Not sure why I find Yoochun my favourite, I just think he’s attractive and I love his voice. (Random question, do you think he looks incredibly old for his age?)

And AH T.O.P the most gorgeous man who has ever lived!! Those eyes will eventually kill me, and that voice fcghjknbhvcfgvbhkml.

Sorry I couldn’t answer your question properly, I think you understand why!

Matthew: What are you getting me for Christmas ’11? Also, your favourite sweet which is packaged in a tube shape?

Matthew I am planning to buy you a library. It seems appropriate because you like English...books..etc. (I do not understand this, but every man for his own.) The library will be grand: with over a million books dated from the beginning of time.

My favourite sweet in a tube shape is Love Hearts. I like reading the messages on them and giving them out to people telling them the message is from me. Yes, that’s sad. But you do follow me on Twitter and you know I live a sad existence.

Emma: If you had the opportunity to go to Korea but ALONE, would you go?

Pfft! Of course I would! There’s no stopping me when I’m trying to get what I want! Yeah, it probably would be straightforward enough apart from the dangers of death and me raping someone. Yenny lives there so I’ll live with her for a week. If she doesn’t mind. Of course, I would text you first and say “HAHA, going to Korea BRB. Enjoy doing your exams.”

James: If you became a lesbian and could elope with any and only one of your friends (female of course) who would you choose and why?

Ew James, you are so disgusting. I wouldn’t want to elope with any of my friends. Look at the cut of them! The only girl I would even consider eloping with is CL. And that’s only to get to T.O.P, to elope with him. Eloping is fun.

CL and CLaudia = POWER!

Elizabeth: What is the first object that comes to mind when you think of me?

Extremely curly hair. Sorry Lizzie, boring answer...but it’s true! And when I think of you your voice always speaks in my head? Weird.

James: If Elizabeth fell preggers and told you that there wasn’t a father would you believe her?

All these questions are now about Elizabeth!? Truthfully I’d prefer if they were about me. James, what kind of question is that: does Elizabeth think she is the Virgin Mary or something!? And no, I’d probably not believe her at all. Elizabeth is the most unlikely in the world to get pregnant out of wedlock.

James: If you could describe yourself as a weather event which one would you be and why?

I think I would be thunder and lightening. Because I get angry randomly and shock a few people. I’m also quite moody which explains the dark clouds. Cloudia. Hahahaha.

James: If you found out you had female baldness, I died and was your only match. Would you take my hair in a transplant?

Lol no. Because if I went bald I think, (this sounds awful) that I would quite enjoy wearing wigs. It would be something else I could customise. Everyone would understand that I needed to wear wigs and then I could collect lots of different styles to match my outfits.

James: If you lost your hands in a goose attack and the only hands you could have transplanted were Mark Campbell's would you?

Yes I would. Hands are hands James. That’s a really gross question btw.

Mary-Jane: If you could change anything about yourself, appearance or personality, what would you change?

Hmm, okay I shall list:

Appearance: Weight, vision and teeth colour.

Personality: NOTHING at all. Yes, I can be rude and nasty sometimes but you need a few flaws to keep you interesting.

- Claudia (I'M GOING TO FAIL MY EXAMS BECAUSE OF THIS.)

The websites I immerse myself in every hour of every day;;

Youtube

Last FM

Twitter

Bestuff

Facebook

Deviant Art

No wonder I don't get anything done.

Fail.

UPDATES

Super Junior comeback in a number of days. I'm so excited!! :D

On Friday past I got tickets for Lady Gaga on 2nd November in Belfast. Kerri, Emma and I are going, shall be amazing. :)

My exams start in 6 weeks, SIX WEEKS!!! *dies*

Seven members of Suju now have Twitter: Donghae, Shindong, Henry, Heechul, Sungmin and Siwon. Yay :D

I've lost 31/2 pounds at Slimming World. :D

Ahh I have to go, I'm in a rush.